you don’t forget the face of the person who was your last hope.

you don't look ahead, for if you don't expect - you don't get disappointed.

you feel, that you stand alone on the shore - but feel their presence nonetheless.

you knew you had nothing to lose, but you lost it anyway.

you knew that hearts were made to be broken -

and the feelings were meant to sting.

you understand that nobody understands.

you are always trying to be there, where the sun don't shine -

so why asking for pity?

And for you;

here is the riddle of love;

everything it gives -

to you.

it takes away -

from you.


-


answer quick.


















are you ready to become one of the stars?

i've seen a thousand faces.

i've heard a hundred-thousand names.

..- and i let them all slip away, into the sound.



all, but one that's deeply engraved in the back of my mind.




my memories don't haunt me anymore and ignorance became bliss. i'm gone.

let the words of truth echo through the emptiness, and let me whisper once more;



⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀- ''i loved you.''



gone with the first snow of december, but never away from this heart of broken glass. i have been known, by you. and you dragged me in, vanishing before giving me a chance to settle.

caught, between two worlds.

stuck, on the crossroad.

the ghost of you, is close to me.

i've had two faces, one that mourned - and one that dreamt.

both faces, only thought of you. bittersweet, and undying march of emotions.

i will never let you be gone.

because if i do;


















then it's a farewell.






⠀

January 10th, 2019.

It's been so long since she walked away, and for some reason - today I felt the sudden urge to reminisce. These phases I have been burdened to carry are slowly dissolving into the thin air, and I feel in control everytime I stroll by.

That doesn't necessarily mean I'm free. I'll never be free, and no fate awaits me; but I'm okay with that.

She dragged me in, and then hopped out of the boat. But I can wait, forever that is.

So he remembered that morning..-


She stood there, staring at him. Her palms locked on her hips, she probably contemplated the idea of slapping him; only to get his attention. Despite her height, her massive ego could top any mountain, easy. She never begged to be the center of attention, because of her intricate, hot-headed nature, but when she wasn't; something felt off. Something wasn't quite right. Also, combined with the fact she just transferred and enrolled to this school for spoiled brats, she expected to be discussed about all day long.

His head was thrown back, his expression was unreadable and his eyes were half-closed. As of now, she just stood there like a pillar for about two minutes, nowhere near getting the attention from the boy, obviously aloof; just in front of her. She could connect one and one, and only judging by the whispers and murmurs in all around the distant circle that formed around her and the boy in front of her, she figured that this guy; might be the big deal that's stealing all her deserved, scandalous attention.

The park just in the middle of the campus was giant. This school really had it's standards set high, but none of that mattered to her right now. She finally snapped, her cheeks gaining a robust shade of red.

- ''YOU!''

She spat, pointing an accusing index finger at the guy in front of her. And her action really brought her fruits, at last. The circle went silent, and the boy slowly lowered his gaze at her.

His thin bangs fell over his forehead, and he didn't bother fixing it. His hair was dark, like the feathers of a raven. It was messy, but well kept. His skin was ever so pale in the contrast of his black uniform and his hair. His features were sharp, yet mellow. And those eyes, were eyes of a little child stuck in the body of a dead fish. Unreadable, indifferent and-

His eyes were;

they were violet.

And suddenly, she was taken aback by his unnatural visage. He blinked at her before glancing back up, his expression softening again. She snapped out of it, she had to regain her composure really fast. Only then she realized, that her finger was still pointed at him.

She swiftly grabbed her pointing hand and tucked her palms on her hips again, wrinkling her nose in fake, egoistical pose. She spoke out with a demanding tone.

- ''Who the heck are you?''

He glared up at the skies above, seemingly ignoring her words and her demanding presence alike. Hanako was getting annoyed by this goof and her anger was slowly reaching top levels.

She spat again, this time taking a hesitant step forward.

- ''ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETH-''

But she stopped talking mid sentence as the boy lazily stretched his arms out on the bench, his expression satisfied and happy. That was when he opened his violet eyes, only to meet with her dark brown ones- and he spoke with a mellow monotone, that somehow soothed her ears.

- ''I like watching clouds. Maybe we could watch them together sometime.''

Dumbfounded, she just stared at him. Thinking; 'this guys either must be dead out of his mind retarded, or the most blissful thing I've seen all day'. And the conflict inside of her prevailed as he slowly pushed himself up from the bench, revealing that he's about head-and-half taller than her, very slim and well composed.

He blinked a couple of times, and he said with a smile.

- ''My name is Akira.''

I walk a walk that is not meant to exist anymore.

I live a life, that has been erased from the existence.

And at some point, I see things and people who-

no.





I walk a walk. I live a life.

I walk a walk.

I live.

These are the points, that are to be of highest importance.

I am soaring through a dead sea. But it doesn't feel bad or wrong.

From the very beginning, it was meant to be like this I suppose.





I loved.

I was loved.

I loathed.

I was loathed.

I feared.

I was feared.




There's so much, I must remember. Because, God tell me now.

If I don't, who will?

This is not something to be passed.

And God, tell me-

why am I the only one left?

And why did I become the universal tool for carrying everything that has been put on my shoulders, and planted into my mind?





I'll be waiting for the answer, even though I know you won't answer me.

It's worth my time, I know.