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nikko's Blog

VI


there's a lot of things in my mind these past days. a lot has happen under a short period of time yet I'm unsure on how to process or express what I'm feeling.

I don't know what to write, it's like I forgotten how to form words, how to write how I did.

IRS frustrating it truly is.
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0 | 0 Comments | Jun 1st 2020 01:13

V


I feel as if I can write as much as I want, say what I want to say, yet nothing is going to change.

You may never see this, but that's okay.

one day you might, or you won't, but I'll write anyway.

I hope your days are good, I hope you get treated so well, you deserve so much. I wonder if you know that, do you?

I wonder if I told you, you deserved so much.

maybe I was selfish, I wonder if I put my needs before you, or if I made you feel unimportant. I wonder a lot.

I worry a lot.

after everything, I still can say I worry on how you're doing, if you're okay. I wonder if you're happy, I hope you are. I hope that's the case.

I like it when you're happy, but I know sometimes it's hard to get happy. though I know you have someone there who can help.

I'm glad for that.

I'm glad you do have someone who can make you feel happy.

I know I haven't been the best the past days we did speak, the few days. The last days.

I'm sorry for that.

I know you and I may/ won't ever speak again.

that's okay, if that make you happy that km not there thats okay. I rather thou happy than anything else.

I wish you the best.
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0 | 0 Comments | May 28th 2020 02:33

IV


The days are passing by and between you and I, I think I feel anger growing.

You can easily talk about something you think I've done without talking to me, and getting my truth. instead you let things from a distance answer your questions.

is it really that difficult to just be honest with me, to ask me what may have been the questions I could have answered you.

instead I'm cast away like some villain from a novel. left with just my thoughts.

I'm mad and hurt that you can easily toss me away.
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0 | 0 Comments | May 7th 2020 12:44

III


I've been feeling tired these days, very tired. I've been reading the words you leave behind, it makes me wonder if you leave them there just for me to read.

it's frustrating.

it feels like you so easily came to a conclusion that seemed the easiest way out. You talked with someone else about me, and what you should do. I hate you didn't try talking to me and maybe finding out the truth.

You have me feeling like I am some kind of villain, a bad guy.

do you really, honestly think I can move on so easily?

that I choose to change for someone else?

when in reality you were my reason to want to change, but now I don't have that reason, so I'm I guess I'm my own reason now.

I'm an idiot, between you and I, I was laying in bed, listening to those songs you sang.

I felt those tears stream down my cheeks.

aha
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0 | 0 Comments | May 4th 2020 11:30

II


hello again, I did say I'll keep my thoughts on this empty canvas.

so here I am writing more, words that form in my head that my fingers then type.

isn't it funny that I had so many thoughts running wild until I'm faced with you. if only my head stayed quiet when I wasn't writing.

now, I am unsure what to write now, I hate to waste such a beautiful canvas, with empty thoughts that may mean nothing at all. yet, I keep typing away. I should stop this here, at this moment, but I find myself wanting to keep writing.

what a lame thing for me to say
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1 | 0 Comments | Apr 5th 2020 18:43
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