ᴘᴜᴘᴘᴇᴛ sᴏɴɢ


1st journal ; www.roleplay.me/blog/119087 ; emotional, all about Miles
2nd journal ; www.roleplay.me/blog/123841 ; thoughts about recent feelings
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Tuesday, April 3
[2:57 AM]

What's up? It's me again, back to something I should be famous for; writing paragraphs in these journals.
Why am I starting a new one you ask? I feel it's necessary for some reason. So Miles and I have been gone for a while, doing the usual. Yunno. Not safe for work things, safe for work things, things, things, and more things. Easter went well and how you'd expect any easter to go. I've got some candies left over, I spent most of the time throwing Smarties into Miles' mouth or just putting his head on my lap and feeding him some as we watched a horror movie. We've kind of been taking things slow, as slow as we can take them. Comfortably, I've been trying to not feel as sh*t, some nights make it harder than others. I had a horrible time last night though, I didn't tell anyone about it really, it was sort of pathetic. But to myself in the future, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say "wishing" connected to this certain "horrible night"
Yeah, that one. Anyway, I didn't get over it this morning and ended up doing absolutely nothing all day. I slept in while Miles went out ( I think he expected me to go out too ) and all that. Today technically is the next day, I don't want to do anything today, but I know I will. I just wish black nights with smooth music could be everlasting, and I don't want to leave this entry, these writings - because it makes me feel like I'm not alone and gotta go to bed. But I do, so goodbye.

Wednesday, May 2
[2:05 PM]

Do you ever feel like you don't deserve someone? I've quit crying, I've got this haircut and new aviators. I can't wait until summer with Miles but I'm scared since all good things come to a crumbling end and you'll be left dawning back on it and hoping you'll have a time like that again. I don't want it to be a memory, I wish we could lay around with each other forever. He's such a ghost to me sometimes, unbelievable and from somewhere unknown but familiar at the same time. If I could live in the arms of my glowing ghost forever, I would. He's such a sight, it's unreal. Help me, I've honestly been possessed.
Heart this
1 | Apr 3rd 2018 04:49