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⠀ ⠀ ⠀the light in your eyes ..
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
▮▮ FIG. 1 : LISTED : #MENTAL.
"i love you, even if you're broken & beaten." ( TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE, SELF-HARM. )
⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, bipolar disorder. diagnosed at 18; a pattern of severe depressive and mild hypo-manic episodes.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀type: bipolar two, has been misdiagnosed with one before due to her battle with addiction.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior-in-mania:⠀feel very “up,” “high,” or elated, increased activity levels/becoming more active; “jumpy” or “wired”,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ trouble sleeping, talking really fast about different subjects, be agitated/irritable/cranky, unable to process all her own thoughts
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ at once, multitasking to the extreme, doing risky things (spending an excessive amount of money, fighting, gambling, drinking,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ partying, having reckless sex, etc.).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior-in-despression:⠀ feeling very sad, down, empty, or hopeless, having decreased activity levels, she is known for
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ having very irregular sleeping schedules (too much or too little), feeling unfulfilled and worried, having trouble concentrating,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ forgetful, irregular eating habits, feeling tired or “slowed down”, thinking about death, being harm to herself or suicide.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀causes, unsure, the cause of bipolar disorder can come from a number of things. in iskra's cause, she believes its' part of
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ her brain chemistry & constant abuse of alcohol from an early age.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀treatment: see 'therapy' below.
⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis: alcoholism, diagnosed at 24; .. a disease that causes; cravings, lack of control while drinking, physical dependence
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ (withdrawal symptoms), tolerance issues, aggression and blackouts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior, she tends to want to drink her feelings away during (but not limited to) depressive episodes, will probably try to
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 'persuade' people into driving her to a bar or store for a drink, tendency to be aggressive or standoffish when drunk,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ no self-control, etc.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀causes, unsure. believes watching her father drink his issues away when met with conflict led to her need to do the same.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀treatment: abstains from alcohol and similar vices completely, has gone to aa meetings and regularly collects her chips.
⠀ ⠀⠀triggers: mentions of her previous engagements, mentions of her mood disorder, being around alcohol [especially the smell of it],
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ being stable especially in relationships.
⠀ ⠀⠀stability: stable. has been stable for a while, possibility for change.
⠀ ⠀⠀therapy: used to go to family-focused therapy (fft) and group psycho-education (ge) when her eldest daughter was old enough to
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ understand her mother's disorder. went to behavioral therapy for several months after her hospitalization in 2017, has since
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ stopped going but continues to use the knowledge she learned from her sessions. plans on taking her youngest children to (fft)
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ and (ge) at some point, hasn't found the strength to do so.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀suggested-coping-mechanisms: fitness, working out. using her body to expel everything rummaging around in her head. it
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ works, most of the time. other times, she tries something new; cooking a new recipe, reading a new book, watching a new show,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ etc. if that fails... she tends to write. sprawling out all her frustrations on a page before burning it, or throwing it away, or
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ submerging it in water before watching it dissipate.
⠀ ⠀⠀medications: risperdal, mood stabilizer, taken once or twice daily.
⠀ ⠀⠀addictions-vices: as a recovering addict, most of the things listed are previous vices that she strays away from unless stated
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ otherwise.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀drinking-habits: used to be a heavy drinker. when she drank, she had a tendency to go hard or go home. although it's been
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ frowned upon she still has the philosophy, 'if you're not blacking out, what's the point?'
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀smoking-habits: avid smoker; only marijuana and refuses to indulge in anything else.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀drug-habits: has tried a couple things party drugs before; like cocaine, codeine and acid, but has never liked the way they
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ made her feel.
▮▮ FIG. 2 : LISTED : #PERSONALITY.
" here lies my dirty little secrets——drenched in mud, sprinkled in dirt, lies & sin. "
⠀ ⠀⠀sense-of-self: physically, she believes she's endless. divinity in motion, guardian of light and the embodiment of confidence on two
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ legs. mentally, she believes she's a coffee stain. something imperfect, accidental, and waiting to be thrown away, just like every
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ other human being that exists on this earth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀worldly-perception: she honestly doesn't know how other people see her. that was scares her the most. that people are
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ unpredictable and can resent her at any time for anything. given her track record though, she believes others see her as a
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ guardian or a bully.
⠀ ⠀⠀fears: feeling weak, losing her children above all else or not being able to provide for them, resentment because of her mental
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ health, hospitals.
⠀ ⠀⠀innate-beliefs: there's someone for everybody, i'm pretty sure. clothes are incredibly overrated. if i had a dollar for every time a
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ man disappointed me, i'd be a millionaire——oh wait——i am. you can be a friend to your children as well as a mother. i don't know..
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ but classic music helps you think. lingerie is for yourself, not for others.
⠀ ⠀⠀moral-alignment: true neutral.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀generalized-temperament: sanguine and choleric..
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀character-archetypes: the caregiver + the ruler, she cares with her heart of gold and she controls with an equally as
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ mighty scepter.
⠀ ⠀⠀average-confidence-level: abnormally high. has a tendency to seem inconsiderate or self—centered because of it.
⠀ ⠀⠀general-sense-of-humor: relentless & ruthless, huge fan of dark humor and thus, her own humor reflects that. would suggest if
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ you're faint of heart .. please do not joke with her, or take much that she says seriously.
⠀ ⠀⠀positive-traits: has always been doughty and intrepid, doesn't remember a time in her life where she was afraid to express how
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ she felt or thought; can lead to a lot of negative reactions but, who cares? confident, and makes attempts to spark the same in
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ others, she's an up-lifter once you get to know her. eloquent and elegant. captivating, infectious, alluring, grabs a hold of the
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ attention of others and embeds herself so deeply it's very hard to forget her. a libertarian, possessing an open-mind (only
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ sometimes). intelligent and responsible. playful and light-hearted, can take a joke and in turn returns the favor.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀most-prevalent-trait: confidence, and dear god, does she wear it with pride.
⠀ ⠀⠀negative-traits: tendency to … embellish the truth, whether for the sake of comedy or survival. extremely individualistic, although
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ this isn't exactly a bad thing when pertaining to others——with her, it's a nightmare. etc. incredibly disrespectful
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ if her buttons are pushed (and they're easily pushed), she has a habit of turning into a completely different person. sarcastic,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ condescending and belittling, has a habit of allowing her thoughts just slip out and more so, people take it as her being...
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ well... a bully. she lacks a .. filter, in almost ever aspect, she believes she doesn't even need one. perceived as mean, is also mean,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ but she'd like to think she's not.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀most-prevalent-trait: uh... being mean + unapologetic about it. ❤
▮▮ CON. : LISTED : #MISCELLANEOUS.
"i’ll be the ship with black sails that crashes against rocky cliffs, begging to mended before i sink."
⠀ ⠀⠀trust-issues: due to being hurt in the past, repeatedly -- iskra has unapologetically cut herself off from friends, family, and even
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ romantic/sexual partners. she only seems to trust to the people who always return to her and leaves the deserters astray. this
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ has caused complications in the past and will continue to do so in the future; her inability to trust has left her paranoid,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ triggered constant emotional turmoil and a very bitter and distasteful attitude toward newcomers in her life and the lives
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ of those closest to her. if you spark her interest, consider yourself lucky -- you're one in a million; act accordingly or you will be
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ tossed out and forgotten rather quickly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀more? not at the moment.
⠀ ⠀⠀stability: this may seem like an odd fear for most people, considering this is what everyone usually strives for; iskra fears
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ consistency. she believes that everything terrible that has happened in her life was ruined because she wasn't in control or
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ was in too much control. kinda crazy? kinda superstitious? trust me, i know. whenever she feels herself falling into a routine
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ whether it be; depending on someone, taking medicine regularly, visiting a place often, or even being happy or sad for an
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ extensive period of time -- she will try her hardest to disrupt that rhythm. she doesn't care who or what she hurts in the
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ process. this paranoia has caused her to ruin relationships, friendships, business opportunities and even, her self-worth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀more? not at the moment.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
▮▮ FIG. 1 : LISTED : #MENTAL.
"i love you, even if you're broken & beaten." ( TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE, SELF-HARM. )
⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, bipolar disorder. diagnosed at 18; a pattern of severe depressive and mild hypo-manic episodes.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀type: bipolar two, has been misdiagnosed with one before due to her battle with addiction.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior-in-mania:⠀feel very “up,” “high,” or elated, increased activity levels/becoming more active; “jumpy” or “wired”,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ trouble sleeping, talking really fast about different subjects, be agitated/irritable/cranky, unable to process all her own thoughts
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ at once, multitasking to the extreme, doing risky things (spending an excessive amount of money, fighting, gambling, drinking,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ partying, having reckless sex, etc.).
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior-in-despression:⠀ feeling very sad, down, empty, or hopeless, having decreased activity levels, she is known for
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ having very irregular sleeping schedules (too much or too little), feeling unfulfilled and worried, having trouble concentrating,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ forgetful, irregular eating habits, feeling tired or “slowed down”, thinking about death, being harm to herself or suicide.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀causes, unsure, the cause of bipolar disorder can come from a number of things. in iskra's cause, she believes its' part of
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ her brain chemistry & constant abuse of alcohol from an early age.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀treatment: see 'therapy' below.
⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis: alcoholism, diagnosed at 24; .. a disease that causes; cravings, lack of control while drinking, physical dependence
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ (withdrawal symptoms), tolerance issues, aggression and blackouts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀behavior, she tends to want to drink her feelings away during (but not limited to) depressive episodes, will probably try to
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 'persuade' people into driving her to a bar or store for a drink, tendency to be aggressive or standoffish when drunk,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ no self-control, etc.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀causes, unsure. believes watching her father drink his issues away when met with conflict led to her need to do the same.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀treatment: abstains from alcohol and similar vices completely, has gone to aa meetings and regularly collects her chips.
⠀ ⠀⠀triggers: mentions of her previous engagements, mentions of her mood disorder, being around alcohol [especially the smell of it],
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ being stable especially in relationships.
⠀ ⠀⠀stability: stable. has been stable for a while, possibility for change.
⠀ ⠀⠀therapy: used to go to family-focused therapy (fft) and group psycho-education (ge) when her eldest daughter was old enough to
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ understand her mother's disorder. went to behavioral therapy for several months after her hospitalization in 2017, has since
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ stopped going but continues to use the knowledge she learned from her sessions. plans on taking her youngest children to (fft)
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ and (ge) at some point, hasn't found the strength to do so.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀suggested-coping-mechanisms: fitness, working out. using her body to expel everything rummaging around in her head. it
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ works, most of the time. other times, she tries something new; cooking a new recipe, reading a new book, watching a new show,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ etc. if that fails... she tends to write. sprawling out all her frustrations on a page before burning it, or throwing it away, or
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ submerging it in water before watching it dissipate.
⠀ ⠀⠀medications: risperdal, mood stabilizer, taken once or twice daily.
⠀ ⠀⠀addictions-vices: as a recovering addict, most of the things listed are previous vices that she strays away from unless stated
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ otherwise.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀drinking-habits: used to be a heavy drinker. when she drank, she had a tendency to go hard or go home. although it's been
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ frowned upon she still has the philosophy, 'if you're not blacking out, what's the point?'
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀smoking-habits: avid smoker; only marijuana and refuses to indulge in anything else.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀drug-habits: has tried a couple things party drugs before; like cocaine, codeine and acid, but has never liked the way they
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ made her feel.
▮▮ FIG. 2 : LISTED : #PERSONALITY.
" here lies my dirty little secrets——drenched in mud, sprinkled in dirt, lies & sin. "
⠀ ⠀⠀sense-of-self: physically, she believes she's endless. divinity in motion, guardian of light and the embodiment of confidence on two
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ legs. mentally, she believes she's a coffee stain. something imperfect, accidental, and waiting to be thrown away, just like every
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ other human being that exists on this earth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀worldly-perception: she honestly doesn't know how other people see her. that was scares her the most. that people are
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ unpredictable and can resent her at any time for anything. given her track record though, she believes others see her as a
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ guardian or a bully.
⠀ ⠀⠀fears: feeling weak, losing her children above all else or not being able to provide for them, resentment because of her mental
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ health, hospitals.
⠀ ⠀⠀innate-beliefs: there's someone for everybody, i'm pretty sure. clothes are incredibly overrated. if i had a dollar for every time a
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ man disappointed me, i'd be a millionaire——oh wait——i am. you can be a friend to your children as well as a mother. i don't know..
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ but classic music helps you think. lingerie is for yourself, not for others.
⠀ ⠀⠀moral-alignment: true neutral.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀generalized-temperament: sanguine and choleric..
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀character-archetypes: the caregiver + the ruler, she cares with her heart of gold and she controls with an equally as
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ mighty scepter.
⠀ ⠀⠀average-confidence-level: abnormally high. has a tendency to seem inconsiderate or self—centered because of it.
⠀ ⠀⠀general-sense-of-humor: relentless & ruthless, huge fan of dark humor and thus, her own humor reflects that. would suggest if
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ you're faint of heart .. please do not joke with her, or take much that she says seriously.
⠀ ⠀⠀positive-traits: has always been doughty and intrepid, doesn't remember a time in her life where she was afraid to express how
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ she felt or thought; can lead to a lot of negative reactions but, who cares? confident, and makes attempts to spark the same in
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ others, she's an up-lifter once you get to know her. eloquent and elegant. captivating, infectious, alluring, grabs a hold of the
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ attention of others and embeds herself so deeply it's very hard to forget her. a libertarian, possessing an open-mind (only
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ sometimes). intelligent and responsible. playful and light-hearted, can take a joke and in turn returns the favor.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀most-prevalent-trait: confidence, and dear god, does she wear it with pride.
⠀ ⠀⠀negative-traits: tendency to … embellish the truth, whether for the sake of comedy or survival. extremely individualistic, although
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ this isn't exactly a bad thing when pertaining to others——with her, it's a nightmare. etc. incredibly disrespectful
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ if her buttons are pushed (and they're easily pushed), she has a habit of turning into a completely different person. sarcastic,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ condescending and belittling, has a habit of allowing her thoughts just slip out and more so, people take it as her being...
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ well... a bully. she lacks a .. filter, in almost ever aspect, she believes she doesn't even need one. perceived as mean, is also mean,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ but she'd like to think she's not.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀most-prevalent-trait: uh... being mean + unapologetic about it. ❤
▮▮ CON. : LISTED : #MISCELLANEOUS.
"i’ll be the ship with black sails that crashes against rocky cliffs, begging to mended before i sink."
⠀ ⠀⠀trust-issues: due to being hurt in the past, repeatedly -- iskra has unapologetically cut herself off from friends, family, and even
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ romantic/sexual partners. she only seems to trust to the people who always return to her and leaves the deserters astray. this
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ has caused complications in the past and will continue to do so in the future; her inability to trust has left her paranoid,
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ triggered constant emotional turmoil and a very bitter and distasteful attitude toward newcomers in her life and the lives
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ of those closest to her. if you spark her interest, consider yourself lucky -- you're one in a million; act accordingly or you will be
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ tossed out and forgotten rather quickly.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀more? not at the moment.
⠀ ⠀⠀stability: this may seem like an odd fear for most people, considering this is what everyone usually strives for; iskra fears
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ consistency. she believes that everything terrible that has happened in her life was ruined because she wasn't in control or
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ was in too much control. kinda crazy? kinda superstitious? trust me, i know. whenever she feels herself falling into a routine
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ whether it be; depending on someone, taking medicine regularly, visiting a place often, or even being happy or sad for an
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ extensive period of time -- she will try her hardest to disrupt that rhythm. she doesn't care who or what she hurts in the
⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ process. this paranoia has caused her to ruin relationships, friendships, business opportunities and even, her self-worth.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀>⠀more? not at the moment.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1 | Mar 27th 2024 22:10