Villain vs Superhero, Bad vs Good

-James Buchanan Barnes (Bucky): Good guy, protected his friend but encouraged him to make his own choices.

-Winter Soldier: Bad guy, programed to kill, an assasin

-Winter Wolf: Good guy gone bad, I don't know him, we are not one in the same.

-Dr. James B. Barnes: Good guy, helps kids and lives a quiet life.

I am not a killer anymore.
I am not a......

It is a lie, in the end, I will kill again. I can be pushed to fight, to harm, to kill someone who is a threat to others. Here is my struggle, and always has been.

Killing is bad.

I don't want to kill anymore. I do not want to fight. Yet I am dragged into these situations and if someone puts a gun to my face, you bet the Winter Soldier is going to defend his life.

My life has been loss. Loss because I never stood up and fought for what I wanted. I let others walk out because I wanted them to be happy. My happiness was never a priority. That was because I never cared about myself more than I cared about others.

This is a good thing some might thing but it isn't. It is what made me so easy to program. My pain, my hurt, from not having the things I wanted caused me to have a weakened mind. I was so weak because I saved everyone else but never cared to save myself.

Steve saved me from the mind control but then T'challa helped the rest. I miss that man, King so much. He taught me a lot about fighting, about bravery and most importantly..... Being what I want to be. Standing up for what I believe in. He changed my life in ways I can never fully explain.

What turns someone into a bad guy, a villain. Pain, loss, to constantly be disregarded like trash. I am not trash. I am James Buchanan Barnes and I am a sensitive man who loves deeply and hurts deeper. I am always balancing on the tight rope between Good and Bad. That is, unless I learn that you will lose people. People will disappoint you but that doesn't make you any less. I am working on that.