Rest | Closed | @PIETY

Sometimes, it felt like something he'd never have. He never even guessed that romanticism would enter his life before letting Askedadd's blood righteously be to his very name. Not only that, but it would be adjacent to someone like the Prince. The complete opposite of him. If God were real, he wondered why he - or it - liked to make people have such stressful attractions.

'Why couldn't everything be perfect?' Thorfinn pondered, blindly staring off into the cotton tent. Perfect as in how? Well, why couldn't they have just made peace with the opposing vikings in Vinland from the start when Leif began the cultivation? Why couldn't the Prince be a Princess? Perhaps even better, a common woman, maybe someone from his own reich.

Funnily enough, Thorfinn couldn't even stray farther on that thought, it made an ocean full of dysphoria pool in his stomach. It would be ideal for the circumstances, but he couldn't get himself to genuinely wish for someone better than Canute. He couldn't picture that better person. That's what he was starting to learn about love and relationships, if you can't find a better option and your head doesn't want you to believe there is one, then by perception alone, there is no better option. You'd have to brainwash him to believe otherwise.

He blinked, checking over his shoulder to check if Canute was finally dormant, and of course, he was. Anyone could, and would, fall asleep after traveling for such a long time and enduring hell on earth. It must have been hard for him. Going from royalty to experiencing men being ripped apart by chains, swords, fire, the amount of deceit and insanity these men could hold was also crippling. Cough. Thorkell. But other than the fact it was so easy to lose grip on morality, his religion. Was it not hard being a Christian of such a high caliber and seemingly loving him?

Many thoughts flooded his head, and he always felt witless coming back down to earth and realizing how much he thought about the past and future but never what was in front of him. When he was a kid, it was when he'd be a viking. Now he's older and it's when he'll get to Vinland and thinking about his fathers death in the past.

Tch..

He watched silently, even though they just had an intimate moment, it felt like it was never enough. It always had to be cut off. But even if they were to be open and out about everything going on between them, would he ever feel like any amount of affection between them would be enough? Probably not. Thors didn't skip out on giving him the softest genes known to man, it was hell. He exhaled through his nose. Canute looked so peaceful. No need to argue with pesky people - a tiny grin picked up at the corner of the warriors lips - not even with him, what a luxury it must be, being buried in profound sleep. Thorfinn found himself falling too. It didn't feel as graceful on his spirit though. More like a heavy axe swinging down, meanwhile Canute's seemed like a dove resting on water. He'd find them a spot where the English wouldn't see them, nor would the Icelandic. It seemed impossible, but surely there was a way. Maybe. Well, goodnight anyways.

...

0 | Oct 10th 2020 09:51

AURORA He had tough luck finding any spot before the rest of the camp would be up. The two had spent enough time dreamily murmuring to each other all lovey-dovey, which now that Thorfinn was snapped out of that haze, he hated himself for it. He didn't have enough time to find such a rare spot, imagine that. Not to mention he was running on practically no sleep whatsoever, so now he was grumpy as well, that was just fucking great.

Thanks a lot, fate. You did well. Would it be karma for being such a bitch? Should he lighten up to be able to breezily be able to find a rare spot, in such a shit-

Oh. Well, something was practically glowing in the snow. Steadily walking up to it, he leaned over and picked it up. It was a small, emerald green ring. He didn't know much about the marketplace, but he was sure an emerald green ring could get you SOME form of currency, so he immediately pocketed it. From just seconds of looking at it, if his eyes didn't play any tricks, he swore the ring holding the green gem was a gold of some sort.

Fuck. Maybe this wouldn't seem like that much to a literal Prince, but it was pretty damn impressive coming from Thorfinn, not to mention the circumstances, and the fact they couldn't let any grubby viking possibly see it.

He, himself, though, lacked materialism just as much as Canute. So he pondered a way to make an expensive ring have more significance other than the danger of owning it... an idea popped into his head, but he'd save it for later.

...

Sitting back down on the floor of the tent, he sharpened his dagger for a bit and got some rest in place. It was more of dozing off disguised as rest but oh well. He was in the middle of it too, eyes shut and mouth slightly agape, when Canute had woken up. It really wasn't wise going out to look for a dumb romantic spot earlier.

PIETY Just as Thorfinn had thought, Canute had drifted into sleep almost immediately after laying his head to rest. Of course the circumstances were enough to exhaust just about anyone, his deep slumber didn't even need explanation. Though, for once, Canute had fallen asleep in peace that night... He had Thorfinn right by his side. Sure, it may have been a little bit disappointing the affection had to be cut a bit short, and that they couldn't rest more closely, but it wasn't any sort of disappointment that would distract him from his gratefulness simply for Thorfinn's presence. Physical touch was nothing compared to how safe that presence made him feel... Knowing there was someone right next to him who not only guarded him in the literal sense, but who genuinely cared for him as a person, and lifted him up as much as anyone ever had was very reassuring, and seemed to keep many of his worries at bay for at least the time being. The mutual love between the both of them was something he could only thank God for... A part of him was sure he had to.

Typically, a situation like this could've frightened someone of his faith to no end. One might've called this some sort of test, and avoiding this rather than indulging in it was the right path--or whatever nonsense rationalization you'd come to out of fear, something Canute didn't have much of when it came to this. Of course, as any other person, he wasn't all-knowing, but he just knew in his heart there was nothing about his love for Thorfinn that was damning. Love was something he felt he never came across too often; everything in the world at the moment seemed ruled by nothing but spite and impulsive violence. Finding an understanding so deep and love so meaningful as this was just so rare it had to be real. Canute felt he was meant to encounter this, and just like any other love he knew he was meant to embrace it, it didn't matter if it came to him in the form of someone of the same sex. Love was no sin, it was as simple as this to Canute. This concept on its own was something he wished he could get everyone in the world to come to understand...Nature would change and flow as God willed it to, and no amount of war or fight for power would allow this change to happen more easily.

Alongside the lack of worry Canute held in regard to this relationship, of course, in his peaceful sleep, he was blissfully unaware of everything running through Thorfinn's mind as he watched him, as well as the little plan he'd drummed up to sneak off and find a spot they could hideaway for a "date." If you could've even called it that. He'd slept right through Thorfinn's exit and his return, eventually waking up to see him in the exact same spot he'd seen him last.

Canute sat up quietly, stretching his neck forward before turning his head with a gentle gaze in Thorfinn's direction. He took note of his very tired, half asleep eyes right upon seeing his face. Sadly, it wasn't a surprising sight. Those eyes weren't at all out of character for someone caught up amidst a war, it was very easy to assume he hadn't slept well. "Up all night?" Canute asked, soft-spoken.

AURORA Usually he'd be quick to chirp out something along the lines of 'no shit' but first of all, his brain was lagging, and second, he didn't feel THAT much hostility towards Canute anymore. So in stead he stayed silent as he fixed around with the dagger, stirring awake at least just an inch more. Orange eyes didn't even bother to meet the gaze of the blues, the only recognition Thorfinn gave towards Canute's question was a blink, he'd always been a bit cut off, maybe more now that they had a weird... thing. Something they didn't bother to label, not that they had the time or real clairvoyance to.

He wished he could just tell Canute clearly that it was difficult to like him so much. Not because Canute was a big chore or anything, pretty much the opposite, if anything HE was the chore, but it wasn't so black and white. Having emotions towards someone during war wasn't what it looked like, it wasn't some tale of adventure, risk, and sticking together against all odds, it was fucking difficult when you had a goal that defined your whole life. Relationships? While you're trying to avenge your fathers death? Shitty snuggling and murmuring stupid phrases while you could be outside training if you have such will to stay awake to cuddle with some royalty? He felt, in a way, as if he was betraying himself. He'd get up early to venture out and look for a quiet area but not get up early to get on top of things before everyone else could even blink?

If his spirit were able to be viewed, it would be jutting its energy in all directions in low, darker frequencies. "Try to forget what happened last night." He stated straightforwardly. It was the best way he could phrase it. Not to forget the relationship or to think he hated him, but to just not dwell on it, don't think too much of it, if they were to hold onto those feelings and purposely give them such bigger meanings and feelings, that'd ruin something in him. Standing up, he adjusted his grip on the dagger to be at immediate preparation for attack, obviously fixating his mind back on the bigger task at hand. He glanced at Canute's royal red robe, suggesting he put it on so they could get going.

PIETY Canute couldn't help but pull a face that looked as though that were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. His eyebrows furrowed, and his head tilted slightly as he watched Thorfinn get to his feet. "What?" He responded simply, standing up and cooperating despite his disapproving tone. "Why the sudden dismissal?" He pulled his robe over his shoulders, securing the button near the center. Canute could tell at least in part it was due to the very serious circumstance, of course every day there was a hell of a lot on Thorfinn's plate being in the middle of a damn war, but what he couldn't really grasp was how he could switch to being so serious so quickly. Or rather, the hostility, to put it frankly. Though that's something he chose not to point out directly...