(OOC) I have enough going on without your fakeness

I've had a lot blindside me these last few weeks. If you are sensitive to mentions of illness (Cancer) then I respectfully say this post is not for you.

Saturday was my cousin's funeral, she'd gone into hospice the week before and lost her battle exactly a four days after being placed there. All of this came about pretty suddenly because it was approximately around Valentine's Day that we found out her condition had gotten as bad as it had. So needless to say I made some VERY bad decisions and spoke with someone I'd mentioned in a previous venting post that I was going to steer clear of. Unfortunately, I told this person of what was going on and we spoke for a while and she was like, 'I'll check up on you tomorrow'. Needless to say, tomorrow never came, I haven't heard from her since. This is from a person the basically called and texted me EVERY F***ING chance she got when she was going through her troubles, but me? Not one f***ing word.

In light of that, I had to deal with what I was going through on my own because sometimes its easier to speak with someone that isn't in the mix. On top of that, I'm a very private person so I don't put my business out on the internet for everyone to see and know. But this was a person I'd written with for years and really thought they were a friend. They stressed so much the whole, 'I'm not going anywhere' bullsh*t that I actually believed her to the point of I would've told anyone that if I was going through anything that she would be there for me. How wrong I was.

So in a sense, I've had two funerals this week. One for someone that is truly gone too soon. And the other for someone I wish I'd never crossed paths with and makes me question anyone that attempts to befriend me (though I know everyone can't be like that). Now I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to remove connections of her muses with mine At this point I'm so disgusted that muses I loved and created feel foreign to me because they had some close story or involvement with hers.

I'll say it once and I'll say it again, don't use the word 'friend' if you don't fully understand the meaning for however long you are in someone's life. Friendship is about give and take, not using others when it is convenient. With every fiber of my being, I hope she never finds this site.

I'm tired and needed to get that off my chest. Be good to each other and most of all BE TRUTHFUL.

Once again, I am sorry for my radio silence, but life has just been rough.

I am going to bed.