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Tony Abrams
{TW: Mentions of mental abuse and suicide}
{“I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be anywhere at all. I just...I don’t know what to do...please, just tell me what to do.”}
General
Full Name: Anthony Lee Abrams
Nicknames: Tony, "good boy"
Gender: Man
Pronouns: He/They
Birthday: July 29th
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual {closeted}
Spirit Animal: Raven
Accent: American
Drinks: No
Smokes: No
Body
Body Type: On the thinner side, long limbs though not gangly, slender and a bit feminine
Height: 5’8
Hair: Black wavy and thick, length varies
Eyes: Dark chocolate brown
Skin: Fair/Pale, bruises easily
Scars: None
Tattoos: None but planning on getting some
Piercings: Ears pierced on lobes, sometimes wears earrings
Makeup: Enjoys wearing it on special occasions or just for fun, sometimes also likes to wear dresses and heels/more feminine clothing
Scent: Burnt cookies and dark coffee
Face Claim: Ezra Miller
Personality
General Personality: +charismatic, +smart, +artistic, +good listener, -frustrated easily, -restless, -slight anger issues, -frugal
Bio: Tony grew up in what seemed to be a perfect life. On the outside, everyone saw their parents as loving and thoughtful and so gracious; their father worked hard and made a lot of money and their mother was an amazing cook with so much pride and their older brother was at the top of his classes. On the outside, Tony looked perfect too, always smiling, always getting along with everyone, being good. But on the inside, things couldn’t be more different. Home was abusive to say the least, but not the physical kind, not the kind that could leave a mark. Sure, as a kid they were spanked but as they got older, all they faced was screaming, gaslighting, and constant shaming. Tony’s mother was the main cause of it all. She was a stay at home mom and was dealing with her own problems {specifically her husband’s infidelity} but that didn’t give her the right to take it out on her children. But she did. Tony’s older brother easily fell into submission, he was weak. Tony, however, fought back which of course had consequences of its own. Continuous mental abuse. It could do a lot to someone so young. Being told you were too fat, not good enough, not strong enough, at such a young age. Tony couldn’t remember a night he didn’t fall asleep by crying. And their father? He might have not been home as often but he was no better. A cheater for starters, but also financially abusive. They made enough money to live nice but instead they lived rather poor, yet he always complained about money. He wanted to make so much yet save it all so he couldn’t even buy the things he wanted. And when he came home, he still had high expectations for his children even though he was never there to support them, always working too long. Tony didn’t know why he fought back so much, why he didn’t just give in like his brother; it was instinctual, the way they shouted, the way they argued back. And as strong as they felt when they did it, Tony was still just as weak as their brother.
When Tony reached high school, they started to really shape themselves, started to dress how they wanted and finally pursued the things they liked. Their parents wanted them to focus on school, on getting good grades, which they did. They weren’t top of their class like their brother but Tony was up there. Tony also managed to sneak in some creative classes he enjoyed, specifically pottery. Throwing clay was one of the few things that made them happy. But, even with all of Tony’s work towards expressing themselves, they still struggled as long as they lived under the overbearing rough of their parents. Tony never even went to a high school party. Tony never talked about what was going on inside of his mind. Tony only ever cried into his pillow at night and not in front of anyone else. He was a good boy.
College was the first real lick of freedom Tony ever got and once he tasted it, he never went back. Still, Tony was scared to drink or smoke anything, both because of their anxiety and anger and not knowing how it would react with it but also because they saw what happened to their mother when she drank and the monster she became scared them. Even without drinking or doing drugs, Tony managed to have his fun, making all kinds of friends, and trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He could easily get a degree in any STEM major he wanted, become some successful tech, become like his father. But that wouldn’t make Tony happy. Tony wanted nothing more than to pursue art, do art, but even though he was miles away from his parents, he could still feel their claws in his skin, keeping him constantly stressed and anxious.
There were many times Tony wanted to hurt himself, kill himself, there were many times he came close to it. Suicidal thoughts plague his mind 24/7 and the thought of being such a burden made him inch closer to the choice every day...but the thought of how much of a burden their funeral would be held them back from pulling the trigger. Yet. For the most part, Tony still seemed perfect on the outside, or at least tried to seem perfect. Sometimes they didn’t know if their memories were true or real or if they were just things they made up. Whenever Tony tried to talk to their parents, specifically their mom, she would just claim she didn’t remember, didn’t know what they were talking about. It was crushing to say the least but what was Tony to do? All they could do was suffer in silence with their own mind continuing to yell at them all the time while on the outside, they were perfect, charming, and overall...a good boy. "You are not good enough, you are not pretty enough, you are not smart enough, you are not strong enough, you are not enough. You are not enough."
Habits: Picking at fingers, biting inside of cheeks
Phobias: Failing, wasting time
Disorders: Anxiety, depression
Likes: Cold air, warm clothing, hot coffee, cats, getting work done, having control of his life
Dislikes: Sleep {slight insomniac}, not knowing what to do, whole milk, acid wash jeans
Turn ons: Being called a “good boy,” groping, worshiping kink, being bossed around, giving oral, being tied up
Turn offs: None established
Position: Switch, submissive {mostly when being bossed around}
Family
Father: Steven Abrams - workaholic, never home, overbearing and financially controlling, wants his children to succeed
Mother: Jenny Abrams - alcoholic, argumentative, overbearing and nosy, wants her children to succeed
Brother: Tristan Abrams - pushover, generally pretty mean to Tony, doesn’t really have much of a relationship with Tony, closer to parents
Song: Feels Alright - Watsky
Appearance:
{“I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be anywhere at all. I just...I don’t know what to do...please, just tell me what to do.”}
General
Full Name: Anthony Lee Abrams
Nicknames: Tony, "good boy"
Gender: Man
Pronouns: He/They
Birthday: July 29th
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual {closeted}
Spirit Animal: Raven
Accent: American
Drinks: No
Smokes: No
Body
Body Type: On the thinner side, long limbs though not gangly, slender and a bit feminine
Height: 5’8
Hair: Black wavy and thick, length varies
Eyes: Dark chocolate brown
Skin: Fair/Pale, bruises easily
Scars: None
Tattoos: None but planning on getting some
Piercings: Ears pierced on lobes, sometimes wears earrings
Makeup: Enjoys wearing it on special occasions or just for fun, sometimes also likes to wear dresses and heels/more feminine clothing
Scent: Burnt cookies and dark coffee
Face Claim: Ezra Miller
Personality
General Personality: +charismatic, +smart, +artistic, +good listener, -frustrated easily, -restless, -slight anger issues, -frugal
Bio: Tony grew up in what seemed to be a perfect life. On the outside, everyone saw their parents as loving and thoughtful and so gracious; their father worked hard and made a lot of money and their mother was an amazing cook with so much pride and their older brother was at the top of his classes. On the outside, Tony looked perfect too, always smiling, always getting along with everyone, being good. But on the inside, things couldn’t be more different. Home was abusive to say the least, but not the physical kind, not the kind that could leave a mark. Sure, as a kid they were spanked but as they got older, all they faced was screaming, gaslighting, and constant shaming. Tony’s mother was the main cause of it all. She was a stay at home mom and was dealing with her own problems {specifically her husband’s infidelity} but that didn’t give her the right to take it out on her children. But she did. Tony’s older brother easily fell into submission, he was weak. Tony, however, fought back which of course had consequences of its own. Continuous mental abuse. It could do a lot to someone so young. Being told you were too fat, not good enough, not strong enough, at such a young age. Tony couldn’t remember a night he didn’t fall asleep by crying. And their father? He might have not been home as often but he was no better. A cheater for starters, but also financially abusive. They made enough money to live nice but instead they lived rather poor, yet he always complained about money. He wanted to make so much yet save it all so he couldn’t even buy the things he wanted. And when he came home, he still had high expectations for his children even though he was never there to support them, always working too long. Tony didn’t know why he fought back so much, why he didn’t just give in like his brother; it was instinctual, the way they shouted, the way they argued back. And as strong as they felt when they did it, Tony was still just as weak as their brother.
When Tony reached high school, they started to really shape themselves, started to dress how they wanted and finally pursued the things they liked. Their parents wanted them to focus on school, on getting good grades, which they did. They weren’t top of their class like their brother but Tony was up there. Tony also managed to sneak in some creative classes he enjoyed, specifically pottery. Throwing clay was one of the few things that made them happy. But, even with all of Tony’s work towards expressing themselves, they still struggled as long as they lived under the overbearing rough of their parents. Tony never even went to a high school party. Tony never talked about what was going on inside of his mind. Tony only ever cried into his pillow at night and not in front of anyone else. He was a good boy.
College was the first real lick of freedom Tony ever got and once he tasted it, he never went back. Still, Tony was scared to drink or smoke anything, both because of their anxiety and anger and not knowing how it would react with it but also because they saw what happened to their mother when she drank and the monster she became scared them. Even without drinking or doing drugs, Tony managed to have his fun, making all kinds of friends, and trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He could easily get a degree in any STEM major he wanted, become some successful tech, become like his father. But that wouldn’t make Tony happy. Tony wanted nothing more than to pursue art, do art, but even though he was miles away from his parents, he could still feel their claws in his skin, keeping him constantly stressed and anxious.
There were many times Tony wanted to hurt himself, kill himself, there were many times he came close to it. Suicidal thoughts plague his mind 24/7 and the thought of being such a burden made him inch closer to the choice every day...but the thought of how much of a burden their funeral would be held them back from pulling the trigger. Yet. For the most part, Tony still seemed perfect on the outside, or at least tried to seem perfect. Sometimes they didn’t know if their memories were true or real or if they were just things they made up. Whenever Tony tried to talk to their parents, specifically their mom, she would just claim she didn’t remember, didn’t know what they were talking about. It was crushing to say the least but what was Tony to do? All they could do was suffer in silence with their own mind continuing to yell at them all the time while on the outside, they were perfect, charming, and overall...a good boy. "You are not good enough, you are not pretty enough, you are not smart enough, you are not strong enough, you are not enough. You are not enough."
Habits: Picking at fingers, biting inside of cheeks
Phobias: Failing, wasting time
Disorders: Anxiety, depression
Likes: Cold air, warm clothing, hot coffee, cats, getting work done, having control of his life
Dislikes: Sleep {slight insomniac}, not knowing what to do, whole milk, acid wash jeans
Turn ons: Being called a “good boy,” groping, worshiping kink, being bossed around, giving oral, being tied up
Turn offs: None established
Position: Switch, submissive {mostly when being bossed around}
Family
Father: Steven Abrams - workaholic, never home, overbearing and financially controlling, wants his children to succeed
Mother: Jenny Abrams - alcoholic, argumentative, overbearing and nosy, wants her children to succeed
Brother: Tristan Abrams - pushover, generally pretty mean to Tony, doesn’t really have much of a relationship with Tony, closer to parents
Song: Feels Alright - Watsky
Appearance:
3 | Mar 8th 2021 10:07