OC: Ester Belyakova

Full name: Ester Belyakova

Nickname(s): Tasha, Gandalf (only by Este)

Species: Human

Age: 24

Birthday: February 1st

Orientation: straight

Nationality: Russian

Place of Birth: St. Petersburg, Russia

Currently Lives: St. Petersburg, Russia

Languages Spoken: Russian, English, German, French

Native Language: Russian

Relationship Status: single

Hair Color: ivory white

Eye Color: cold blue

Face Claim / Playby: Sasha Luss

Appearance: tall, slim, extremely athletic, swan-like, graceful posture, can seem untouchable/unapproachable, can occasionally show signs of obsessive skin-picking

Personality: reserved, mostly, but will warm up to those she trusts and can quickly tip over into oversharing. Ester likes to feel in control of things, shunning anything that falls out of the ordinary. A lot of paranoia and intense conflict avoidance stem from a place of wanting to feel safe, only knowing conflict as something inherently dangerous and destructive. But to those close to her, Ester is an immeasurable gift, kind and empathetic, resourceful, supportive and sweet.

Likes: ballet, classical music, nature (especially lakes & rivers), cats, kids, small traditions, gift-giving, winter & spring, dwelling in memories, dabbling in the finer things

Dislikes: uncertainty, risk-taking, conflict, very agitated & extroverted people, bad communication, loud & crowded environments, parties, clubs, drugs, drinking, loss of control

Smoker: No

Drinker: No

Medication: Sleeping medication, occasionally

Hobbies: -

Occupation: professional ballerina

Parents: Roman and Irina (✝) Belyakov(a)

Siblings: Este Belyakov

Backstory:
Ester and her twin brother were supported by their mother from a young age to pursue ballet, beginning at the age of four. It served as an escape from their home, where Este and Ester first witnessed, then became the targets of their father’s verbal and physical abuse.
When Irina passed away shortly before their fifth birthday, she ensured her inheritance to be put into a boarding school fund for the twins, wanting them, more than anything, to carry on with their dream. Ester suffered quite gravely under the loss of her mother, and then the separation from Este. Because she often couldn’t find the words to say, Ester occasionally wrote letters dedicated to either of them. Even then, her young heart felt the tug of solitude, finding difficulty in connecting with peers. Something about her was just off – torn between being very mature for her age, and strangely childish underneath.

After graduating, Este and Ester temporarily moved back into their father’s apartment, who refused to pay a single dime for their dance education. Ester kept herself above water by waitressing part-time, and then packing up her work shirt and dashing over to the dance studio. It was her who insisted that the twins audition for the Mariinsky ballet at seventeen, and it was ultimately only her who was accepted. Ester struggled to feel relief or hope, sad to be alone, once again, in a dream she’d once shared with Este.

In the following years, Ester witnessed the descent of her brother into a drug-filled, violent spiral so reminiscent of their father's behavior that she couldn't bear to be near him anymore. By purchasing her own apartment and finding escape and excuses through work, Ester lived in fear of her own brother, while at the same time dreading the distance that was starting to grow between them. Once Este crossed the line of dealing out of the apartment, Ester took his keys and kicked him out.

Going forward, Ester had to live with the loss and move of her brother, a deep-seated loneliness and grave anxiety. She often feels abandoned and has difficulty navigating intimate relationships. While she has picked up some work on her own mental health, she often entangles herself in old patterns, afraid of the new, the unknown. Most of the time, Ester finds escape through work, which is at odds with another deep desire she lives with – to be a mother, to raise a child, a wish entirely incompatible with her life.

Here's where you’ll find Ester: Almost the age Irina was when she had the twins, and dreading every passing second where she cannot fulfill that wish for motherhood. Caged in her own habits, terrified of the new. Torn in constant internal conflict, and unable to allow anyone to help her.