Contact Agreement

Due to previous incidents, please read the following.

Should we become friends on this website, please understand that I am not obligated to appear on a daily basis.

I have a life, as do all of you, and I work full time, meaning that my work hours can range from 10 hours per day to 16 hours a day.

Should I not log in for more than a day, not exceeding three, please understand that I have been busy.

There will be times that I lose motivation to perform and may take some time to mentally recover. Do not take this personally.

If, after two days I have not appeared or replied to a message, send me a reminder and I will respond in one or two days time.

I do not have high expectations but I will not tolerate kindergarten levels of literacy or imagination. In turn, I will provide a scene that is well orchestrated, paired with details that, I hope, will encourage your own imagination.

To the MEN of this site, I don't want to have a pissing contest with you. If you want to act big and tough or portray yourself as an alpha, I ask, in the most disrespectful way possible, GO AWAY.

To the WOMEN of this site, I won't argue with you, either. If you want to argue, there are dozens of other people on this site that will be more than willing. I AM NOT.

To both MEN and WOMEN, with all due respect, I will criticize you like that one food critic from Ratatoullie. If we hit it off, become wonderful literary friends, I will happily debate, argue, and have a pissing contest.

ALSO, I'm just an average Joe. I'm ugly and I'm proud. If you want to insult me, you better do so with some imagination that actually compels me to feel a little hurt. Using profanity and only profanity will not cut it.

LASTLY, be nice to me and I'll be nice to you.

Oh, just to be safe, I'd like to express my happiness for anyone who is LGBTQ. You are a valid individual. Unfortunately, I'm a simpleton so, to me, you are either a HE or a SHE. Please, don't take offense to my simple-mindedness. It's tough being an idiot but I'm still pitter-patter-ing along.

LASTLY...again...tell me your favorite beverage after reading this.