till then i'll just pretend⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀( ABOUT )

GOT A HOLE IN MY SOUL GROWING DEEPER AND DEEPER.

kim haneul , yet another artistic young soul falling victim to the sweet addictiveness of notoriety. the bassist and songwriter for the up-and-coming band LOVESICK , when he isn't picking up shifts at the local record shop to make ends meet he can be found pouring his heart out with a pen or taking his anger out on guitar strings.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀─ IDENTIFICATION.
( name ) kim haneul , goes by "han" ;
( age ) twenty three ;
( gender ) male ;
( orientation ) bisexual , openly ;
( ethnicity ) south korean ;
( languages ) korean , english ;
( occupation ) record store employee , songwriter / bassist ;
( birthplace ) daegu , south korea ;
( education ) high school , university ( drop out ) ;

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀─ APPEARANCE.
( hair ) black , often dyed blond ;
( eyes ) brown , the left eye speckled with silver ;
( height ) 5'10 , regularly wears platforms for additional height ;
( attire ) errs towards black and white with pops of colour , prefers things that are comfortable and allow movement , most of his wardrobe is thrifted or purchased at discount shops , often altered / personalized by himself , is rarely if ever seen without jewelry ;
( piercings ) two in his left ear , three in the right ear , tongue piercing ;
( tattoos ) " arduus ad solem " written on the inside of his right arm ;
( build ) toned with visible muscle definition , small waist ;

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀─ PERSONALITY.
animated , haneul at his default is a playful individual that seldom takes much of anything seriously. not one prone to making plans or taking risk assessments , his life is truly just a bunch of impulses he takes and the outcomes of those decisions. when he finds something to put his effort into, he gives it all of himself , even if it's an ill-advised venture. for as jovial as he is , his anger knows no bounds. when kindness is abandoned he can be as vicious as a viper, equal parts malicious and vindictive. while he doesn't necessarily / like / that part of himself, it's nonetheless something he ( and those who manage to scorn him ) has to contest with.

( positives ) cheerful , creative , friendly , flexible , curious , not easily perturbed ;
( negatives ) lazy , vindictive , addiction-prone , forgetful , easily bored , ostentatious ;
( mental health ) diagnosed but unmedicated adhd , medicated depression <LEXAPRO> ;
( associations ) ferrets , sparrows , the colour red ;

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀─ LOVESICK.
( about ) formerly just another garage band that wasn't really meant to become anything more in high school , the band was formally reformed and rebranded as 'LOVESICK' in 2021. part of an independent label, they've managed to start making a name for themselves, appearing in the lineups of various summer festivals and playing gigs in different venues around seoul ;
( inspirations ) one ok rock , the rose , bad omens , xdinary heroes , fall out boy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀─ BACKGROUND.
an only child , haneul was somewhat of a miracle baby. his mother, kim hyojin, had been told she wasn't capable of conceiving a child. to her ( and her husband's ) surprise, however, they came to one day find a little boy bundled up in their arms ─ he'd be named haneul from that day onward. despite being born in daegu, the boy would never really get familiar with it, leaving at six years old to move abroad to the united states with his parents. while living in maryland, haneul discovered music , developing a fixation on bass guitars in particular. this interest would become a life long passion the day he finally received his own guitar on his thirteenth birthday.

a happy home life would be interrupted by a nasty divorce, his father remaining in the states while his mother moved back to south korea, taking haneul with her. reacclimating to the culture wasn't easy, not when he'd lived most of his formative years overseas. he struggled to find a new foundation for himself before finally meeting a group of 'rejects' like himself, the lot of them forming a band. truth be told, they were terrible, but jamming out together was the taste of freedom haneul desperately needed ─ the opportunity to express himself unrestrained.

while the band went their separate ways in college, they would ultimately come back together years afterwards , this time with the goal to make something of their old mess. renaming themselves 'LOVESICK' after many of the love-woes the members had, haneul would be the last to rejoin them, taking up the guitar again and the newfound burden as the band's songwriter. to everyone's surprise, things started to take off after a slow start. haneul's boss at the record store seemed to know most of the local venue owners , willing to put in a good word for the band in exchange for overtime hours from haneul. things were going well, until they weren't.

venues meant drinking patrons. drinking patrons meant free booze for the 'pretty' guitarist. his social life and work ethic took a major hit when he found himself addicted to the attention and the 'buzz' when he got just intoxicated enough to stop caring. waking up with too many strangers, missing too many shifts, and being too wasted to be of any use during band practices culminated into his friends and his mother staging an intervention and forcing him to go to rehab for a time.

it's been four months since he got back from a 90-day stint in a rehab facility. his second attempt, in fact, after relapsing following the first. readjusting has been somewhat of a struggle and it's difficult trying to ignore the watchful gazes of his family and friends , all trying to make sure this time he stays sober for /good/. meanwhile , all haneul could care about is finishing the songs for their latest album and trying not to get strangled by his manager for sleeping through his alarm for the umpteenth time that week.

. . . at least the trauma is good for his art.