To the man who will love her next

To the man who will love her next;

I try to search for a little closure and relief but they are hiding in a cold and dark place that I cannot find.
Why do the painful images not find not find a place to stay other than the forefront of my jumbled up mind?
I can still hear your sweet, soft voice whisper the three special words of "I love you" in my ear.
Oh how I wish that my strong arms were wrapped around your small, breathing body so that I could keep you near.
I remember your beautiful, expressive brown eyes and how when you were happy or excited, they would shine as bright as the sun.
I can still hear your loud, joyful laugh running through my head over and over again from when we were together and innocently having fun.
Oh how I wish that I was able to get up and go back in time and change that terrible, fateful day.
I would have done and said things differently than before to make sure that you would have been able to stay.
I try and try to search for you and call out to you in my deepest, darkest nightmares and even in my sweetest, softest dreams.
I can still hear just how much pain, how much fear, and how much suffering had filled your loud, piercing screams.
I remember your big, blinding smile and how it would make your whole body look like it was glowing from your happiness.
Oh how I wish that, again, your small, smooth hand could rise up to my face for a sweet, gentle caress.
You are now holding hands and smiling with Jesus Christ and living in a huge mansion that resides up above the cloudy skies.
You are now lost to me for rest of my living life and so I cannot stop the endless tears that keep escaping my puffy, bloodshot eyes.

Broken.
You've stolen her from me, the heart strings snapping against the groans of internal turmoil. Her touch, her laugh, her life. Just as you gave her to me, you also took her, selfishly desiring her beauty and love for your self. Claiming what never belonged to me all along, but belonged to you. You're meant to be merciful, kind. Where was the mercy for me?

Lord, you know all, at least, so the stories say. But, you don't know these small things, these things I must present with every ounce of love, and brokenness. You will see what you have denied the ones you love. You will see what you have removed from this world, the singular blessing of life with just one smile, on look of honey colored hues, one touch that breathes life into the very man I once was.

When you love her, love her like I do, you will learn these very things:
She holds a deep insecurity. Don't get bothered by her asking for assurance. Don't get bothered by having to repeat anything on a near daily basis. That affirmation is what allows her to move forward, allows her to smile. She needs you to remind her that she is more than what she believes. Panic and concern is a painful curse, it takes no time of day to just remind her that she's doing okay, that she is perfect. But you have to remind her of this. You have to be the strength to her, as she is to you.

She bleeds love for life. Don't hold her back in fear of her getting hurt. There is no changing or stopping her, there is only supporting her. Her heart bleeds love for life and for people. A soul you created, and perfected into the most selfless person, one who you've also tortured and watched her rise from the ashes, stronger and ready for you to try and put her through it all again. She won't give up, that's not her blood, but she will lay her life in love. If you try and stop her, she will fight you. Her value to giving, being selfless, bearing her heart to the world is what makes her only more perfect.

She loves dancing in the rain. There is a wild freedom when passing storms come, enveloping the soul, quenching it of the thirst that the drought of life that you force us to endure. Barefoot, white dress, hair down. Don't waste a single second just watching her. Dance with her. Watch her flourish in the essence of freedom and laughter that she possesses. It doesn't matter who is watching, no one else matters in your world except her. And if she has the ability to entice a hard heart to such a pleasurable freedom, then that is what matters.

When you go out with her, heads will turn. She will gain what is known as unwanted attention. Don't get jealous, don't get possessive. She knows how to take care of herself, and she only has eyes for you. You gave the world a faithful woman, and she lives by it. She may go dance with others, she may laugh with another. That doesn't mean she wants them. Her kindness can be mistaken for flirtation. Let her share a piece of what she is with the world. She doesn't deserve to be shackled down by a possessive nature, as no one truly owns another. One can only own the privilege of company, and love of another. And that's what she gives you.

Some days, she will walk through the door after a long day, looking tired, and defeated. Don't say a word. Don't ask her to talk. Just embrace her, and let her talk when she is ready. Words are not always the solution, she just needs to he held and assured that she is doing amazing. Her strength and durability is to be admired, and recognised, and never criticised.

Don't be afraid to tell her you love her. There is never too many times one can express those three words. Sometimes, that's all she needs to hear. You don't always know what battles she's silently fighting in order to ensure you don't worry about her. Every moment you can, remind her how beautiful she is. How much you love her.

She's afraid to cry on front of you. Her soul is strong, and proud. It isn't because she is afraid to be weak, but instead, she worries that it will worry you. Her love for you is so pure, so strong, she wants every piece of you to he happy. So when she falls, be there and cradle her. She calms under your voice, your arms, no matter what you say, she's going to hold onto it, and cherish it.

She trusts you.
She adores you.
She needs you.

Love has no limits. But I'm sure you're aware of that, aren't you, Lord? Since your love for her was so strong, you bid her time to end far too soon. Revoking her of her chance of happiness, of love. But I'm sure she's happy now, standing by your side. The bride of heaven, the influence of love and compassion. Her heart and soul never truly belonged here in the cruelty of this world. She was too pure, too gracious, and the hatred you allow to spread like creeping darkness was the cost of her life. Was it worth it? Tell me, God, was it worth her life? No soul has a value. They are priceless. But hers was just breathtakingly sweet, and very much loved.

She's with you now, by your choice. She's at peace where she belongs. Please, look after her, as I did my very best to, but failed in the end; in return living with the eternal punishment of guilt and agony. Love her with every fiber of love that Ioved her, kiss her every chance you get, protect her with the very life that she would protect you with. Remind her of her strength, her courage. Make her realise that you are nothing without her, she is your greatest strength, yet greatest weakness.

But most of all, Lord, please,
Tell her that I love her.
For her heart belonged to me,
Before you stole her away.