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Natalie LeBrant - The Widowed Survivor
CONTENT WARNING: Contains mature and triggering themes. Domestic violence, abuse, including sexual abuse and r*pe, death
NAME:
⤿Natalie
NICKNAME:
⤿Nat
BIRTH NAME: Natalie Ann LeBrant (Rodriguez after marriage)
AGE:
⤿ 25
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿3rd June 1996
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿ New Orleans, Louisiana
GENDER:
⤿Female
OCCUPATION:
⤿ Formally teacher in London
⤿ Now assistant manager for Blaise
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Widowed ( Reserved for Dean @iridescent )
SPECIES:
⤿ Human
PARENTS:
⤿Caroline LeBrant (mother)
⤿ Jason LeBrant (father)
SIBLINGS:
⤿ Jessica LeBrant (twin sister, decreased)
FEARS:
⤿ People being kind
⤿husband
⤿often waking up.
TATTOOS:
⤿ Jessica across her lower back in honor of her sister
FACECLAIM:
⤿Eiza Gonzalez
⤿ Natalie was the oldest twin to Caroline and Jason LeBrant.
⤿ Jessica was her best friend growing up, the only difference between the girls was Jessica had brown eyes instead of blue. Otherwise they were basically identical twins.
⤿ Natalie had a very close bond to her parents as well, her family connections being one of the rare perfect ones.
⤿ In early high school, she was extremely skilled in many aspect. Dancing, singing, sports. She was quite popular in school, excelled in her studies, and kept away from boys.
⤿ She was 15 when she met Tony, being out with Jessica on their usual sisterly date. Jessica was smitten by him, but he had eyes for Natalie instead.
⤿ Tony seriously fought for Natalie's attention, and eventually gained it just after she turned 16. Because of her sisters devotion to him, this caused a sudden rift between the twins, which no matter what she tried, she couldn't get through to her sister.
⤿ Natalie was 17, close to 18 nearly finished her schooling years when Tony took her and her family on a random trip. On the way, a truck hit them side on, wiping out her mother and father instantly, Jessica being in the middle rushed to hospital with life threatening injuries.
⤿ Natalie was in a critical condition, Tony being the one with the least damage yet, still suffering horrific injuries. Natalie awoke from a coma after a few weeks, having broken through the risk of death. Yet upon her awakening, she discovered that her sister had no improvement.
⤿ Having missed her parents funeral, she did a private one with Tony who had remained by her side the entire time. Natalie never finished school, unable to cope with keeping up with the studies, and maintain hope for her sister. It was nearly 3 months later, right after Tony proposed and her accepting, that her sister passed away.
⤿ Grief strickened, she ended up relying on Tony a lot more, whom used her pain to manipulate his way into his will, yet she didnt see it that way.
⤿ She had just turned 18 when she married Tony, being able to get into a course for teaching as that was her dream job.
⤿ Only a month after marrying him, true colors began to show. It was the first time he raised his hand to her, a sudden snap that he was instantly remorseful to. She forgave him, and things went smooth again.
⤿ As the months dragged on, the abuse started to become more constant. Physical. Emotional. Mental. After the first 2 years of marriage, it started turning sexual, him forcing himself on her no matter if she wanted it or not.
⤿ Life spiralled into the pattern of locking herself away, hiding the bruises with clothes and make-up. She pushed everyone away, all her close friends, her study group, absolutely everyone.
⤿ She fell pregnant at 21, however lost the baby in a miscarriage caused from Tony after violently abusing her hours before she lost the child.
⤿ She became a shell within herself, suffering not only the abuse from Tony, but his parents when she tried confronting them. They accused her of lies and slander, ridiculing her for daring say anything against their only child. Quite often due to her husband and his parents, she would end up suffering major asthma attacks.
⤿ Quite often, Tony would steal her asthma puffer and force her to endure the asthma attack up until a point where it was nearly too late. From there, he would give it to her, bringing her back from the brink of death with it. At one point, she was rushed to hospital, as he had waited too long, and she had pretty much died, paramedics only just able to bring her back.
⤿ She endured the abuse until she was 23 years of age, until one night, he had her up against the kitchen bench, hands around her throat, ready to strangle her. Natalie felt around for anything to use, and when her fingers found the knife, instinct simply clouded right and wrong, ramming the knife into his neck.
⤿ Due to the commotion, someone rang the police who arrived at the gruesome scene then- Natalie in a pool of her husbands blood beside his body, in shock and unable to make sense.
⤿ It took over 24 hours for police to finally get anything from her, and the only thing they got was a confession to first degree murder.
(Wip still)
NAME:
⤿Natalie
NICKNAME:
⤿Nat
BIRTH NAME: Natalie Ann LeBrant (Rodriguez after marriage)
AGE:
⤿ 25
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿3rd June 1996
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿ New Orleans, Louisiana
GENDER:
⤿Female
OCCUPATION:
⤿ Formally teacher in London
⤿ Now assistant manager for Blaise
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Widowed ( Reserved for Dean @iridescent )
SPECIES:
⤿ Human
PARENTS:
⤿Caroline LeBrant (mother)
⤿ Jason LeBrant (father)
SIBLINGS:
⤿ Jessica LeBrant (twin sister, decreased)
FEARS:
⤿ People being kind
⤿husband
⤿often waking up.
TATTOOS:
⤿ Jessica across her lower back in honor of her sister
FACECLAIM:
⤿Eiza Gonzalez
⤿ Natalie was the oldest twin to Caroline and Jason LeBrant.
⤿ Jessica was her best friend growing up, the only difference between the girls was Jessica had brown eyes instead of blue. Otherwise they were basically identical twins.
⤿ Natalie had a very close bond to her parents as well, her family connections being one of the rare perfect ones.
⤿ In early high school, she was extremely skilled in many aspect. Dancing, singing, sports. She was quite popular in school, excelled in her studies, and kept away from boys.
⤿ She was 15 when she met Tony, being out with Jessica on their usual sisterly date. Jessica was smitten by him, but he had eyes for Natalie instead.
⤿ Tony seriously fought for Natalie's attention, and eventually gained it just after she turned 16. Because of her sisters devotion to him, this caused a sudden rift between the twins, which no matter what she tried, she couldn't get through to her sister.
⤿ Natalie was 17, close to 18 nearly finished her schooling years when Tony took her and her family on a random trip. On the way, a truck hit them side on, wiping out her mother and father instantly, Jessica being in the middle rushed to hospital with life threatening injuries.
⤿ Natalie was in a critical condition, Tony being the one with the least damage yet, still suffering horrific injuries. Natalie awoke from a coma after a few weeks, having broken through the risk of death. Yet upon her awakening, she discovered that her sister had no improvement.
⤿ Having missed her parents funeral, she did a private one with Tony who had remained by her side the entire time. Natalie never finished school, unable to cope with keeping up with the studies, and maintain hope for her sister. It was nearly 3 months later, right after Tony proposed and her accepting, that her sister passed away.
⤿ Grief strickened, she ended up relying on Tony a lot more, whom used her pain to manipulate his way into his will, yet she didnt see it that way.
⤿ She had just turned 18 when she married Tony, being able to get into a course for teaching as that was her dream job.
⤿ Only a month after marrying him, true colors began to show. It was the first time he raised his hand to her, a sudden snap that he was instantly remorseful to. She forgave him, and things went smooth again.
⤿ As the months dragged on, the abuse started to become more constant. Physical. Emotional. Mental. After the first 2 years of marriage, it started turning sexual, him forcing himself on her no matter if she wanted it or not.
⤿ Life spiralled into the pattern of locking herself away, hiding the bruises with clothes and make-up. She pushed everyone away, all her close friends, her study group, absolutely everyone.
⤿ She fell pregnant at 21, however lost the baby in a miscarriage caused from Tony after violently abusing her hours before she lost the child.
⤿ She became a shell within herself, suffering not only the abuse from Tony, but his parents when she tried confronting them. They accused her of lies and slander, ridiculing her for daring say anything against their only child. Quite often due to her husband and his parents, she would end up suffering major asthma attacks.
⤿ Quite often, Tony would steal her asthma puffer and force her to endure the asthma attack up until a point where it was nearly too late. From there, he would give it to her, bringing her back from the brink of death with it. At one point, she was rushed to hospital, as he had waited too long, and she had pretty much died, paramedics only just able to bring her back.
⤿ She endured the abuse until she was 23 years of age, until one night, he had her up against the kitchen bench, hands around her throat, ready to strangle her. Natalie felt around for anything to use, and when her fingers found the knife, instinct simply clouded right and wrong, ramming the knife into his neck.
⤿ Due to the commotion, someone rang the police who arrived at the gruesome scene then- Natalie in a pool of her husbands blood beside his body, in shock and unable to make sense.
⤿ It took over 24 hours for police to finally get anything from her, and the only thing they got was a confession to first degree murder.
(Wip still)
Harrison Leucos- The Broken Musician
!! TRIGGER WARNING !!
Contents contain mentions of sexual abuse, physical abuse, drug and alcohol abuse.
NAME:
⤿Harrison
NICKNAMES:
⤿Harry
⤿ Sonny
⤿Ris
BIRTH NAME:
⤿Harrison Troy Leucos
AGE:
⤿27
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿15th April 1994
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿ Canada
GENDER:
⤿ Male
OCCUPATION:
⤿Singer/Musician
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Single
SPECIES:
⤿Human
PARENTS:
⤿Unknown
SIBLINGS:
⤿None known
TATTOOS:
⤿ many covering his body
FACECLAIM:
⤿ Andy Biersack
⤿ Harrison grew up in an abusive foster care from a young age. He never knew who his parents were, didn't know if he had any siblings.
⤿ He never reported the cases of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect from not only his foster parents, but surrounding connections including external family to them.
⤿ School was his escape, and so, he excelled at it. He made a couple of friends but they never went out on the weekend with him. He always had an excuse on why he couldn't go.
⤿ Trapped in the care until he was 18, Harrison endured the abuse the best he could. As well as his schooling, he could write music, which he did, since his foster parents gave him a guitar and an organ to hush him from the abuse he was receiving.
⤿ As soon as he could get out, he left, chasing the music industry with full force.
⤿ He got gigs around Canada, saving enough money until he moved to LA, beginning to really win a name for himself. He was approached by a music producer who decided to give him a go, seeing potential that others couldn't.
⤿ He started performing in concerts, moving with the people whom became his band, music family.
⤿ It was a trip to New Orleans when he met Davina Claire, and it was the first woman he had willingly been with since the past trauma. He never opened up much about himself, very closed off and quiet, but he did allow himself to open physically to her.
⤿ it was just a summer romance, short lived as they were forced to part ways. He hated it, as she was a force to be reckoned with, but life pulled them apart.
⤿ He fell head over heels for another woman he met while on tour. But it was a very one sided romance, something he sought to be reciprocated. For years he fought for her attention, her favor, but it always ended in heartache.
⤿ He got mixed into drugs, and alcohol abuse, finding himself hospitalised after alcohol poisoning, almost killing himself.
⤿ Harrison went on break from tour, in a psych ward, trying to pull himself together, but very unwilling, still drowning in the pain he had.
⤿ Starting to come clean after a few months, he got out, only to meet Davina again a week later by complete chance.
⤿ Like their initial summer romance, love blossomed hard and fast between them, Harrison at the point that he would have sacrificed his life for her.
⤿ It was near 6 months before he went on tour again after they connected, Harrison wanting her to come if she wished. She agreed, but upon leaving, she walked out.
⤿ Harrison was left heartbroken, as he didn't understand what happened, what went wrong, and so began the days to another spiral downhill again.
(I am flexible with where I play Harrison, before or after the drug and alcohol abuse! Just let me know what you prefer!)
THE STAGES AFTER DAVINA CLAIRE:
(1. Bleeding Denial)
"You loved her, didn't you?"
"How could you love someone who threatens to disappear?"
Her words still echoed in their bedroom, where he ushered that she would be secured in his life. He would protect her, her name, every honour she held. Davina Claire would be safe, happy as long as he had air in his lungs. Even in that moment, Harrison could not believe that she would actually walk away from him. She could not break /her/ word.
"You gave your heart to her, didn't you?"
"How can you give a heart when there is no one to grab it on the other end?"
Pledging those words that he would never abandon her, securing that no matter what he had to do, she would always be first. She had always been first. Ever since their summer romance, and then meeting again, she had always been his. He had always desired the young witch, even whilst she was emotionless, and pushed him away.
"She was your soulmate, wasn't she?"
"There are no such thing as soulmates-"
The house was empty, her laughter still echoing in the hallways, still feeling her skin against his in the kitchen, every part of her still etched into the walls of his home. The guitar sat in the corner of his display room, a gift from her. Long fingers wrapping it before he brought it up, then down with such a force, the echoes of splintering wood and snapping strings, violence of his pain shimmering with the now broken splinters of her gift. Her curse.
She had held the gun to his heart, and fired, a clean shot straight through him. But he walked, bleeding with each step, the pain encased in his soul, unable to now rid the emotional wound that was emptying with every breath.
(2. The numbing shut down)
!! TRIGGER WARNING !!
Content contains mention of suicidal thoughts and actions!
How can I say this without breaking
How can I say this without taking over
How can I put it down into words
When it's almost too much for my soul alone
Never before had his own lyrics been heard in society. He had never had the courage to express them, too insecure for his own voice against the worlds which billowed with such a mixture of emotional turmoil. How could his voice outshine over that? How could his soul been seen through such dazzling crowds of talent, and reason? Yet he sat upon the cold, kitchen floor, tiles biting into his ankles after hours of sitting, writing, his little keyboard laid before him, touching notes, being his only companion to ever hear original pieces.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
Three nights later, he performed his first, original solo on stage in front of thousands of people. Each lyric branded with the loss from the woman he had adored to no end, each vocal noted wavering with the emotional stress it took to sing the words before so many. Such a huge risk this was, but he wanted someone to feel his pain, he wanted someone to understand, he was just a human after all of this. Well known for his voice but he had a life, he had love and he had pain. He couldn't be perfect, much as he wanted to try. Buried deep within himself was the need to just crumble, be buried under the weight of everything, suffocate slowly, but so willingly.
I don't want them to know the secrets
I don't want them to know the way I loved you
I don't think they'd understand it, no
I don't think they would accept me, no
Two days, it took his video to go viral. YouTube, Facebook, tiktok, people posting that song, his song to her, and it exploded. People screamed in comments for more, people yearned to see his side more. Yet he was far too numb for that excitement. So empty, hollow inside. His eyes read the comments, his heart tuned out the fans, his soul darkened to the idea of anything more than the emptiness that was swallowing him whole. Harrison was sitting on a goldmine of being heard finally, but he could not break the single chain that was dragging him down farther and farther.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
His phone exploded with calls from producers. Everyone wanting his song, desiring to claim their name to it somehow. The foggy memory so hard to bear, the almost drunk like state through the signing of the papers, the recordings, completely numb and lost to the world. Yet they didn't see him. Couldnt see the fall, their shallow eyes masked by the believable smile, the half in tune responses, just the fact he was there. Everyone wanted to know him now, was this because of her?
Dreams fight with machines
Inside my head like adversaries
Come wrestle me free
Clean from the war
Your heart fits like a key
Into the lock on the wall
I turn it over,
I turn it over
But I can't escape
I turn it over,
I turn it over
A month later, albums in his name "Hurts like Hell" were being sold world wide, everyone seeming to connect to his lyrics. Such a pain filled album, yet his hit song being of the one and only, Davina Claire. He wrote pieces of triumph, heartache and struggle. Real songs which people could understand, and feel as they too were human. The gift to connect, he had it. But he was so closed off, forgetting most moments, everything a mix of flashing lights of the paparazzi to the signing of his signature. In 48 hours, Harrison Leucos was not only seen, but he was number one in the charts, world wide.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Face to the sky, his eyes stared at the singular moon that stared back at him. The pearly face seemed to mourn him, pity on how lost this man was, standing on the edge of the bridge, the first tear to touch his cheek since this whole ordeal came to play. He didn't care for the music. He didn't care for the luck he had just struck. The confusion killed him, and he saw no more sense in pondering. Face lowered, his eyes staring at the water far below him. Painless, quick, this would be the end of the suffering she placed upon him. Harrison wanted to, but a stronger part of him begged for some mercy, some sign, something to hold him back. The most gentle, coolest breeze brushed him, as if urging him away from the edge, not controlling, but coaxing. So seemingly quick, it vanished, the chill still on his skin, his face. Stepping down, everything inside screamed, and so, so did he. He didn't recognise his own voice through the anguish, he didn't hear the sirens above the blinding pain that ripped past his lips. She had left him alive, but she had killed him slowly every single day. A death he didn't know how to escape from anymore.
It hurts like hell
|| Song is Hurts like Hell, sung by Fleurie.
(3. Healing)
Weeks since his first success, Harrison had forced himself away. Everyone pleaded for him to come out into society, his fans wanting more of him, yet he did not have the courage to face them. He did not have the strength to stand and smile. Dangerously close calls nearly costing his life on numerous occasions, the male had reckless toyed with life and death, yet never succeeded with either. His studio was littered with paper, scribbles of a lost musician played in every which direction. His phone broken from throwing it at a wall in frustration, he could find some sort of peace in his own company.
A new song, complete, ready for him to display to the world, yet whether he would, he didn't know. The baby grand piano sitting in his main entertaining room served as a beautiful greeting as he stepped into the dusty room. Long fingers traced marks into the dust of the beautiful wood, the shining black colour underneath shining through once more. Lifting the lid to the instrument, he sat upon the stool, brushing his hands along the tops of the keys. He stilled, mentally establishing the singular song he had been working on. The tunes began to echo in a near empty room, the air filling with the joyful grace of his tune, lightly skipping across the keys as he worked the music in such a beautiful melody, his song coming to life in his own presence. In his own time.
Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous
Fighting my anxiety constantly, I try to control it
Even when I know it's been forever I can still feel the spin
Hurts when I remember and I never wanna feel it again
Don't know if you get it 'cause I can't express how thankful I am
That you were always with me when it hurts, I know that you'd understand
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
Sometimes I still think it's coming but I know it's not
Tryin' to breathe in and then out but the air gets caught
'Cause even though I'm older now and I know how to shake off the past
I wouldn't have made it if I didn't have you holding my hand
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
I need you to know I would never be this strong without you
You've seen how I've grown, you took all my doubts, 'cause you were home
I don't wanna lose control
There's nothing I can do anymore
I don't wanna lose control, oh-oh-oh-oh
Nothing I can do anymore, anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
A week later, Harrison came back into the world. A new album released days before, his new recording 'Control' hitting number one in the charts. Second time his music had been recognised, the musician unable to still fathom this change in his life. Paparazzi hounded him, security having to chase them off the unsure man. He passed by hundreds of screaming fans, his hues unable to keep to many long. Questions, comments, the repetition of his name almost making him dizzy. Deep inhale, he pressed on, fighting not only the people, but himself.
That same night, he decided to let the world see him. Live on his own Facebook fan page, he took to it. People hounding him with questions, most stupid but he persevered. It wasnt until one question came that made him stop. 'What was your inspiration to your recent song, Control?' Harrison was silent for a moment, staring at the screen which others would witness him doing live. Finally, he pursed his lips before answering. "Control was inspired one morning when I looked in the mirror. A time I saw myself at my worst, compared to when I saw myself at my best." He began to explain to the thousands watching him. "Many would see it as someone has helped the singer. But it is in fact, the singer that has helped himself. He's always been there. He's always helped. He's never left. And for that, I am thankful. I'm terrified, but I'm thankful." He spoke with honest vulnerability.
How social media exploded from there. He was talk of the world, being someone of great inspiration, and further, down to earth, mature outlooks on life. He never took much notice of it, he knew it would be too exhausting keeping up with his fans. None the less, he had finally become what he wanted to do.
|| The song, Control, sung by Zoe Wees was used for this piece.
Contents contain mentions of sexual abuse, physical abuse, drug and alcohol abuse.
NAME:
⤿Harrison
NICKNAMES:
⤿Harry
⤿ Sonny
⤿Ris
BIRTH NAME:
⤿Harrison Troy Leucos
AGE:
⤿27
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿15th April 1994
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿ Canada
GENDER:
⤿ Male
OCCUPATION:
⤿Singer/Musician
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Single
SPECIES:
⤿Human
PARENTS:
⤿Unknown
SIBLINGS:
⤿None known
TATTOOS:
⤿ many covering his body
FACECLAIM:
⤿ Andy Biersack
⤿ Harrison grew up in an abusive foster care from a young age. He never knew who his parents were, didn't know if he had any siblings.
⤿ He never reported the cases of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect from not only his foster parents, but surrounding connections including external family to them.
⤿ School was his escape, and so, he excelled at it. He made a couple of friends but they never went out on the weekend with him. He always had an excuse on why he couldn't go.
⤿ Trapped in the care until he was 18, Harrison endured the abuse the best he could. As well as his schooling, he could write music, which he did, since his foster parents gave him a guitar and an organ to hush him from the abuse he was receiving.
⤿ As soon as he could get out, he left, chasing the music industry with full force.
⤿ He got gigs around Canada, saving enough money until he moved to LA, beginning to really win a name for himself. He was approached by a music producer who decided to give him a go, seeing potential that others couldn't.
⤿ He started performing in concerts, moving with the people whom became his band, music family.
⤿ It was a trip to New Orleans when he met Davina Claire, and it was the first woman he had willingly been with since the past trauma. He never opened up much about himself, very closed off and quiet, but he did allow himself to open physically to her.
⤿ it was just a summer romance, short lived as they were forced to part ways. He hated it, as she was a force to be reckoned with, but life pulled them apart.
⤿ He fell head over heels for another woman he met while on tour. But it was a very one sided romance, something he sought to be reciprocated. For years he fought for her attention, her favor, but it always ended in heartache.
⤿ He got mixed into drugs, and alcohol abuse, finding himself hospitalised after alcohol poisoning, almost killing himself.
⤿ Harrison went on break from tour, in a psych ward, trying to pull himself together, but very unwilling, still drowning in the pain he had.
⤿ Starting to come clean after a few months, he got out, only to meet Davina again a week later by complete chance.
⤿ Like their initial summer romance, love blossomed hard and fast between them, Harrison at the point that he would have sacrificed his life for her.
⤿ It was near 6 months before he went on tour again after they connected, Harrison wanting her to come if she wished. She agreed, but upon leaving, she walked out.
⤿ Harrison was left heartbroken, as he didn't understand what happened, what went wrong, and so began the days to another spiral downhill again.
(I am flexible with where I play Harrison, before or after the drug and alcohol abuse! Just let me know what you prefer!)
THE STAGES AFTER DAVINA CLAIRE:
(1. Bleeding Denial)
"You loved her, didn't you?"
"How could you love someone who threatens to disappear?"
Her words still echoed in their bedroom, where he ushered that she would be secured in his life. He would protect her, her name, every honour she held. Davina Claire would be safe, happy as long as he had air in his lungs. Even in that moment, Harrison could not believe that she would actually walk away from him. She could not break /her/ word.
"You gave your heart to her, didn't you?"
"How can you give a heart when there is no one to grab it on the other end?"
Pledging those words that he would never abandon her, securing that no matter what he had to do, she would always be first. She had always been first. Ever since their summer romance, and then meeting again, she had always been his. He had always desired the young witch, even whilst she was emotionless, and pushed him away.
"She was your soulmate, wasn't she?"
"There are no such thing as soulmates-"
The house was empty, her laughter still echoing in the hallways, still feeling her skin against his in the kitchen, every part of her still etched into the walls of his home. The guitar sat in the corner of his display room, a gift from her. Long fingers wrapping it before he brought it up, then down with such a force, the echoes of splintering wood and snapping strings, violence of his pain shimmering with the now broken splinters of her gift. Her curse.
She had held the gun to his heart, and fired, a clean shot straight through him. But he walked, bleeding with each step, the pain encased in his soul, unable to now rid the emotional wound that was emptying with every breath.
(2. The numbing shut down)
!! TRIGGER WARNING !!
Content contains mention of suicidal thoughts and actions!
How can I say this without breaking
How can I say this without taking over
How can I put it down into words
When it's almost too much for my soul alone
Never before had his own lyrics been heard in society. He had never had the courage to express them, too insecure for his own voice against the worlds which billowed with such a mixture of emotional turmoil. How could his voice outshine over that? How could his soul been seen through such dazzling crowds of talent, and reason? Yet he sat upon the cold, kitchen floor, tiles biting into his ankles after hours of sitting, writing, his little keyboard laid before him, touching notes, being his only companion to ever hear original pieces.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
Three nights later, he performed his first, original solo on stage in front of thousands of people. Each lyric branded with the loss from the woman he had adored to no end, each vocal noted wavering with the emotional stress it took to sing the words before so many. Such a huge risk this was, but he wanted someone to feel his pain, he wanted someone to understand, he was just a human after all of this. Well known for his voice but he had a life, he had love and he had pain. He couldn't be perfect, much as he wanted to try. Buried deep within himself was the need to just crumble, be buried under the weight of everything, suffocate slowly, but so willingly.
I don't want them to know the secrets
I don't want them to know the way I loved you
I don't think they'd understand it, no
I don't think they would accept me, no
Two days, it took his video to go viral. YouTube, Facebook, tiktok, people posting that song, his song to her, and it exploded. People screamed in comments for more, people yearned to see his side more. Yet he was far too numb for that excitement. So empty, hollow inside. His eyes read the comments, his heart tuned out the fans, his soul darkened to the idea of anything more than the emptiness that was swallowing him whole. Harrison was sitting on a goldmine of being heard finally, but he could not break the single chain that was dragging him down farther and farther.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell
His phone exploded with calls from producers. Everyone wanting his song, desiring to claim their name to it somehow. The foggy memory so hard to bear, the almost drunk like state through the signing of the papers, the recordings, completely numb and lost to the world. Yet they didn't see him. Couldnt see the fall, their shallow eyes masked by the believable smile, the half in tune responses, just the fact he was there. Everyone wanted to know him now, was this because of her?
Dreams fight with machines
Inside my head like adversaries
Come wrestle me free
Clean from the war
Your heart fits like a key
Into the lock on the wall
I turn it over,
I turn it over
But I can't escape
I turn it over,
I turn it over
A month later, albums in his name "Hurts like Hell" were being sold world wide, everyone seeming to connect to his lyrics. Such a pain filled album, yet his hit song being of the one and only, Davina Claire. He wrote pieces of triumph, heartache and struggle. Real songs which people could understand, and feel as they too were human. The gift to connect, he had it. But he was so closed off, forgetting most moments, everything a mix of flashing lights of the paparazzi to the signing of his signature. In 48 hours, Harrison Leucos was not only seen, but he was number one in the charts, world wide.
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
I loved, and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Face to the sky, his eyes stared at the singular moon that stared back at him. The pearly face seemed to mourn him, pity on how lost this man was, standing on the edge of the bridge, the first tear to touch his cheek since this whole ordeal came to play. He didn't care for the music. He didn't care for the luck he had just struck. The confusion killed him, and he saw no more sense in pondering. Face lowered, his eyes staring at the water far below him. Painless, quick, this would be the end of the suffering she placed upon him. Harrison wanted to, but a stronger part of him begged for some mercy, some sign, something to hold him back. The most gentle, coolest breeze brushed him, as if urging him away from the edge, not controlling, but coaxing. So seemingly quick, it vanished, the chill still on his skin, his face. Stepping down, everything inside screamed, and so, so did he. He didn't recognise his own voice through the anguish, he didn't hear the sirens above the blinding pain that ripped past his lips. She had left him alive, but she had killed him slowly every single day. A death he didn't know how to escape from anymore.
It hurts like hell
|| Song is Hurts like Hell, sung by Fleurie.
(3. Healing)
Weeks since his first success, Harrison had forced himself away. Everyone pleaded for him to come out into society, his fans wanting more of him, yet he did not have the courage to face them. He did not have the strength to stand and smile. Dangerously close calls nearly costing his life on numerous occasions, the male had reckless toyed with life and death, yet never succeeded with either. His studio was littered with paper, scribbles of a lost musician played in every which direction. His phone broken from throwing it at a wall in frustration, he could find some sort of peace in his own company.
A new song, complete, ready for him to display to the world, yet whether he would, he didn't know. The baby grand piano sitting in his main entertaining room served as a beautiful greeting as he stepped into the dusty room. Long fingers traced marks into the dust of the beautiful wood, the shining black colour underneath shining through once more. Lifting the lid to the instrument, he sat upon the stool, brushing his hands along the tops of the keys. He stilled, mentally establishing the singular song he had been working on. The tunes began to echo in a near empty room, the air filling with the joyful grace of his tune, lightly skipping across the keys as he worked the music in such a beautiful melody, his song coming to life in his own presence. In his own time.
Early in the morning I still get a little bit nervous
Fighting my anxiety constantly, I try to control it
Even when I know it's been forever I can still feel the spin
Hurts when I remember and I never wanna feel it again
Don't know if you get it 'cause I can't express how thankful I am
That you were always with me when it hurts, I know that you'd understand
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
Sometimes I still think it's coming but I know it's not
Tryin' to breathe in and then out but the air gets caught
'Cause even though I'm older now and I know how to shake off the past
I wouldn't have made it if I didn't have you holding my hand
I don't wanna lose control
Nothing I can do anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
I need you to know I would never be this strong without you
You've seen how I've grown, you took all my doubts, 'cause you were home
I don't wanna lose control
There's nothing I can do anymore
I don't wanna lose control, oh-oh-oh-oh
Nothing I can do anymore, anymore
Tryin' every day when I hold my breath
Spinnin' out in space pressing on my chest
I don't wanna lose control
A week later, Harrison came back into the world. A new album released days before, his new recording 'Control' hitting number one in the charts. Second time his music had been recognised, the musician unable to still fathom this change in his life. Paparazzi hounded him, security having to chase them off the unsure man. He passed by hundreds of screaming fans, his hues unable to keep to many long. Questions, comments, the repetition of his name almost making him dizzy. Deep inhale, he pressed on, fighting not only the people, but himself.
That same night, he decided to let the world see him. Live on his own Facebook fan page, he took to it. People hounding him with questions, most stupid but he persevered. It wasnt until one question came that made him stop. 'What was your inspiration to your recent song, Control?' Harrison was silent for a moment, staring at the screen which others would witness him doing live. Finally, he pursed his lips before answering. "Control was inspired one morning when I looked in the mirror. A time I saw myself at my worst, compared to when I saw myself at my best." He began to explain to the thousands watching him. "Many would see it as someone has helped the singer. But it is in fact, the singer that has helped himself. He's always been there. He's always helped. He's never left. And for that, I am thankful. I'm terrified, but I'm thankful." He spoke with honest vulnerability.
How social media exploded from there. He was talk of the world, being someone of great inspiration, and further, down to earth, mature outlooks on life. He never took much notice of it, he knew it would be too exhausting keeping up with his fans. None the less, he had finally become what he wanted to do.
|| The song, Control, sung by Zoe Wees was used for this piece.
Rules + Character Navigation
Below is my character directory, plus the link to my rules. A roleplay will NOT be started until rules are read and signed, so please be aware of this.
Rules
www.roleplay.me/blog/279999
All characters are open for plotting and crossovers are most welcomed.
Ps: do NOT come at me saying "you have so many characters, you choose -" If you do this, I will NOT respond, and most likely delete you. YOU choose one of mine, and I will choose one of yours unless there is serious inspiration on one person picking both. Do not be lazy, simple as that.
Cannibal
www.roleplay.me/blog/280005
Fenrys Vaughan
www.roleplay.me/blog/280322
Hector Devereaux
www.roleplay.me/blog/280323
Hawke Melendez
www.roleplay.me/blog/280325
Khali Bourne
www.roleplay.me/blog/280327
Colt De Vere
www.roleplay.me/blog/280329
River Salvatore
www.roleplay.me/blog/280330
Blaise LaBelle
www.roleplay.me/blog/280332
Dante Fitzroy
www.roleplay.me/blog/280526
Torak Henrikson
www.roleplay.me/blog/280527
Carlyle Godfrey
www.roleplay.me/blog/280528
Ezekiel Zdral
www.roleplay.me/blog/280529
Aslan Beaufort
www.roleplay.me/blog/280717
Ares
www.roleplay.me/blog/280721
Salem Mikaelson
www.roleplay.me/blog/280722
Harrison Leucos
www.roleplay.me/blog/280784
Canon characters
www.roleplay.me/blog/280725
Rules
www.roleplay.me/blog/279999
All characters are open for plotting and crossovers are most welcomed.
Ps: do NOT come at me saying "you have so many characters, you choose -" If you do this, I will NOT respond, and most likely delete you. YOU choose one of mine, and I will choose one of yours unless there is serious inspiration on one person picking both. Do not be lazy, simple as that.
Cannibal
www.roleplay.me/blog/280005
Fenrys Vaughan
www.roleplay.me/blog/280322
Hector Devereaux
www.roleplay.me/blog/280323
Hawke Melendez
www.roleplay.me/blog/280325
Khali Bourne
www.roleplay.me/blog/280327
Colt De Vere
www.roleplay.me/blog/280329
River Salvatore
www.roleplay.me/blog/280330
Blaise LaBelle
www.roleplay.me/blog/280332
Dante Fitzroy
www.roleplay.me/blog/280526
Torak Henrikson
www.roleplay.me/blog/280527
Carlyle Godfrey
www.roleplay.me/blog/280528
Ezekiel Zdral
www.roleplay.me/blog/280529
Aslan Beaufort
www.roleplay.me/blog/280717
Ares
www.roleplay.me/blog/280721
Salem Mikaelson
www.roleplay.me/blog/280722
Harrison Leucos
www.roleplay.me/blog/280784
Canon characters
www.roleplay.me/blog/280725
All Canon characters
This is a list of all the Canon characters I portray. This list will be constantly updated, as I remember who I used to play, or if I decide to experiment a little as well.
All characters will be single UNLESS updated in this blog with who they are shipped to. I play quite close to how they are, with a few tweaks of my own. These, I can discuss with you if interested;
SUPERNATURAL
⤿ Sam Winchester
⤿ Castiel
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES/THE ORIGINALS
⤿ Hayley Marshall
⤿ Kol Mikaelson
⤿ Damon Salvatore
⤿ Davina Claire
HANNIBAL
⤿ Hannibal Lecter
⤿ Will Graham
HARRY POTTER
⤿ Draco Malfoy
⤿ Hermione Granger
All characters will be single UNLESS updated in this blog with who they are shipped to. I play quite close to how they are, with a few tweaks of my own. These, I can discuss with you if interested;
SUPERNATURAL
⤿ Sam Winchester
⤿ Castiel
THE VAMPIRE DIARIES/THE ORIGINALS
⤿ Hayley Marshall
⤿ Kol Mikaelson
⤿ Damon Salvatore
⤿ Davina Claire
HANNIBAL
⤿ Hannibal Lecter
⤿ Will Graham
HARRY POTTER
⤿ Draco Malfoy
⤿ Hermione Granger
Salem Mikaelson - The lost Warlock
NAME:
⤿Salem
NICKNAMES:
⤿None
BIRTHNAME:
⤿Salem Roman Mikaelson
AGE:
⤿nearly 1000 years old
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿12 September
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿Unknown
GENDER:
⤿Male
OCCUPATION:
⤿None
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Single
SPECIES:
⤿Warlock
PARENTS:
⤿Freya Mikaelson
SIBLINGS:
⤿None
FEARS:
⤿Claustrophobia
⤿ the dark
TATTOOS:
⤿angel wings across his lower back
FACECLAIM:
⤿Thomas Doherty
⤿ The first born son of Freya Mikaelson, Salem had never had the chance to ever meet his mother.
⤿ Dahlia passed him onto a family whom had promised to care for him and look after him. But he was never to know of Freya, never to know the truth.
⤿ His new family never really accepted him. Dahlia would never find him again, so Salem became the dog of the family.
⤿ 5 children were introduced into the family, and being the bloodline of his parents, they were favored. Punishments began to lay upon his shoulders; whether they were his, or any of the other family. His fault or not, he coped the punishments.
⤿ Salem was 12 when he began to notice his powers, more showing when his emotional balance was unstable. Silently, he began to try and do small things in private.
⤿ When it was 13, that's when things blew out of control. In a fit of pain and rage, Salem set the entire home on fire, burning everyone but himself alive, releasing him of the bonds of them.
⤿ He began to wander, trying to find help, but he lacked trust, and so only happened to cause accidental fatalities due to his lacking control of powers and his emotional instability.
⤿ He heard of a family that shared his last name, an old name that he hadn't traced before, and then, it clicked. He belonged to them - but how?
⤿ under some long investigation, he found a name - Freya. His mother. Salem began to search for her, but it was fruitless in every angle as she was either dead or didn't want to be found - any of which he didn't know.
⤿ Salem has travelled for his entire life since then, trying to find answers, the truth. Along the way, he's slowly learnt to have some control of himself but he doesn't know what he's capable of. He's hard to get along with, hard to connect to as his past trauma and betrayal have led him to shut down and shut off.
⤿Salem
NICKNAMES:
⤿None
BIRTHNAME:
⤿Salem Roman Mikaelson
AGE:
⤿nearly 1000 years old
DATE OF BIRTH:
⤿12 September
BIRTHPLACE:
⤿Unknown
GENDER:
⤿Male
OCCUPATION:
⤿None
MARITAL STATUS:
⤿Single
SPECIES:
⤿Warlock
PARENTS:
⤿Freya Mikaelson
SIBLINGS:
⤿None
FEARS:
⤿Claustrophobia
⤿ the dark
TATTOOS:
⤿angel wings across his lower back
FACECLAIM:
⤿Thomas Doherty
⤿ The first born son of Freya Mikaelson, Salem had never had the chance to ever meet his mother.
⤿ Dahlia passed him onto a family whom had promised to care for him and look after him. But he was never to know of Freya, never to know the truth.
⤿ His new family never really accepted him. Dahlia would never find him again, so Salem became the dog of the family.
⤿ 5 children were introduced into the family, and being the bloodline of his parents, they were favored. Punishments began to lay upon his shoulders; whether they were his, or any of the other family. His fault or not, he coped the punishments.
⤿ Salem was 12 when he began to notice his powers, more showing when his emotional balance was unstable. Silently, he began to try and do small things in private.
⤿ When it was 13, that's when things blew out of control. In a fit of pain and rage, Salem set the entire home on fire, burning everyone but himself alive, releasing him of the bonds of them.
⤿ He began to wander, trying to find help, but he lacked trust, and so only happened to cause accidental fatalities due to his lacking control of powers and his emotional instability.
⤿ He heard of a family that shared his last name, an old name that he hadn't traced before, and then, it clicked. He belonged to them - but how?
⤿ under some long investigation, he found a name - Freya. His mother. Salem began to search for her, but it was fruitless in every angle as she was either dead or didn't want to be found - any of which he didn't know.
⤿ Salem has travelled for his entire life since then, trying to find answers, the truth. Along the way, he's slowly learnt to have some control of himself but he doesn't know what he's capable of. He's hard to get along with, hard to connect to as his past trauma and betrayal have led him to shut down and shut off.