A Beam of Darkness

“His dark eyes follow the bloodied weapon as it was released from the other’s shaking grasp, falling onto the perfectly clean tiles and staining them with droplets of the thick crimson liquid.” I began. “That knocked the breath right out of him, his breath hitching in his throat at the revolting sight before him, his already pale skin almost turning white. His brain couldn’t comprehend anything at the moment, his inhalation so irregular that it seemed like he forgot the one thing he was born doing.” I paused for a moment, recollecting my breath before continuing: “Suddenly and all at once, thoughts filled with fear, worry and regret flooded his mind and for a few minutes, that’s all he could think of. It looks as if he’s almost frozen in time, paralyzed by the shock and terror of committing such a despicable crime, although the sound of his quickened, crooked breathing’s the only way one could tell that he wasn’t in fact a statue.” I concluded, hiding the papers behind my back as I slowly raise my head, taking in the sight of the seemingly shocked audience. Why do they seem so surprised? Why are all of them looking at me like that? It’s supposed to be a mystery, and I so happen to like open endings. Why are they all wearing obvious masks of astonishment on their shady faces?

“Th-That was.. Quite interesting.. Don’t you agree, class?” I focus my narrowed eyes on the teacher who was now smiling nervously at me and the group of still fazed students behind me. Seeing that made me realise why. It made me realise why all of them are looking at me like that. It also caused a smirk to spread across my face, and a small chuckle left my parted lips. They were mimicking the male in my narrative, how shocked he was. With a satisfied grin on my face, I make my way back to my seat, settling down and offering my now wary peers yet another smile.

The rest of the school day went by pretty quick, and night had already fallen by the time I arrived back home. “Ah.. Home sweet home.” I mutter softly, beaming as I stride in, waving to my mum and father who happen to be sitting on the couch per usual. “Hmm..” humming in slight thought, I glance at them, sceptical about why they would never move off that couch. “Hey. I’m home.” I greet, pulling on a smile, the fake one, though, the one they were used to. Naturally, they ignored me, but I lean down to kiss my dear mother’s cheek nevertheless, nodding my head towards my dad. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.” The smile I had on my face soon disappeared as I stare into my mother’s pale blue eyes. “I love you mum..” with that said, I turn away, heading up the stairs with a sigh. It was much better back when they could talk.

After spending a few hours of worthless typing on my computer, I hear the doorbell go quite a few times. More than curious, I lean over my desk, slowly and cautiously pulling the curtains to the side, giving myself enough space to get a nice look of the man in the blue uniform out the door. A small grin spread across my features. “Took you long enough.” With a sigh, I get up and off my chair, heading downstairs slowly. Just before opening the door, I glance over at my still parents, sighing yet again. “They’re here for you.. I just know it.”

I could hear the knocking getting louder and more rapid, “They’re going to break in mother..” I state, my voice becoming a bit shaky. “Why am I feeling this? I-I felt nothing of this when I actually.. did it.” The knocking felt almost deafening, the constant sound of quick but hard slams against the door matching my racing heart. “But.. I won’t cry.. I won’t cry father. I.. I’m a man. I.. I won’t cry. I-” I could barely say it as I hear the door being broken down and instantly my body grew rigid.

Everything going on at that exact moment, the police breaking in, the gasps the shouting the yelling, it simply faded away as I stood facing away from them and gazing at the pure white sheets on the kitchen table. It seemed almost as if I can see myself do it all again. The way my dark eyes followed the bloodied weapon as it was released from my own shaking grasp, falling onto the perfectly clean tiles and staining them with droplets of the thick crimson liquid. That knocked the breath right out of me, my breath hitching in my throat at the revolting sight before me, the already pale skin I have almost turning white. I remember how my brain couldn’t comprehend anything at that moment, my inhalation so irregular that it seemed like I forgot the one thing I was born doing. Then, all of a sudden, thoughts filled with fear, worry and regret flooded my mind and for a few minutes, that’s all I could think of, just like right now.

“I lost myself father.” I whisper, feeling my weak, sweaty and shaking body being dragged away forcefully. My eyes were still on my father’s dead ones and I didn’t dare look away, even though my vision blurred and the bulge in my throat became intolerable.

“I-I lost myself.. Somewhere in the cold, menacing darkness.”