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katrinastuart's Blog

OOC FEELINGS ,,


Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough. These days I just wanna die and I don’t say that as a joke. All my life people pushed me around, left me out of things...these days, everyone is fake. I don’t know what to do with my life. Over the course of time I realized, I, am just greedy, needy, stupid and have made horrible life choices that will affect me for YEARS. Sometimes I go back to the beginning of all my roleplay messages and I look at B’s. It’s weird to look at. It’s hard to even believe that was almost 5 months ago my life changed. I went through a breakup with one of my exes back in January and still affects me. January 22nd I made this account from my previous one (Veronica Lodge from “Riverdale”) and it flopped. January 28th I met B and my now ex, whom I’ve feelings for once again. We broke up in March after one of my best friends came along at the end of February. I’m starting to think that he ruined everything for my ex and I. C and him started dating and I felt worthless and just a third wheel. The admin and I dated for awhile and we broke up recently on June 3rd but that’s okay they didn’t love me for me anyhow. It was fake love.
C left recently too and then not very long after. My friend Z made an account for C (using the same pfp and user) just to make my ex happy. It was a little upsetting even though half of it, I told him to do so. I’m starting to look back at all my mistakes..and what I went through in my childhood. It’s really hard to think about..and trust me, it makes me feel bad about myself. Me, I’m not a very good person myself. In the past I’ve catfished, faked my age, and even cheated once. I can’t believe the horrible person I was. I see myself as.. I don’t know. A f***ing monster. The worst thing is none of you even realize it. You don’t know how deadly I am. 2 years ago I grabbed a butcher knife from my kitchen and brought it outside, cutting things open. I even cut myself, leaving just a small scratch. I also made a poison, somehow, out of those stupid poison berries I almost ate as a kid. I wanted to try it though, and I wanted to kill myself. I got grounded once my aunt, aka my neighbor, saw me and told my mother. It didn’t play out well. I see a therapist, for f***s sake. I have many mental illnesses. Including severe depression, severe anxiety, moderate bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, binge eating disorder, OCD and PTSD. I’m sure there’s even more I never found out about. These have made my life miserable. I’m just gonna end this here with, please help me, I just want to die.



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1 | 0 Comments | Jun 11th 2019 21:11

my bio!


Full Name: Katrina Maryann-Carol-Loraine Stuart
Nicknames: Kat
Gender: Female
Date Of Birth: September 20th, 1999
Age: 19
Zodiacs: Virgo
Nationality: Canadian
Race/Ethnicity: White
Place Of Birth: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Current City: Los Angeles, California
Occupation: Singer
Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Body Build: Slim
Height: 5’5 or 165 cm
Weight: 121 lbs or 55kg
Skin: Tannish pale
Hair: Dyed blue (natural dark brown)
Eyes: dark brown
Tattoos: none
Birthmarks: none
Glasses: no
Piercings: nose & ears
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6 | 0 Comments | Feb 22nd 2019 16:50