♡ i lift my lids and all is born again

tw — references to abuse, self harm, & suicide.

　 　 　　　　　
basic info ୨୧


୨୧ name — kim jiwon / elizabeth kim
୨୧ nicknames — liz, eliza, lizzie, princess, lili
୨୧ biological sex — female
୨୧ gender identity — female
୨୧ pronouns — she/her
୨୧ sexuality — demisexual biromantic (male lean)
୨୧ birthday — november 21, 2004
୨୧ age — nineteen
୨୧ relationship status — single


appearance ୨୧


୨୧ skin color — pale
୨୧ hair color — gray-blond
୨୧ hair style — long, slightly wavy
୨୧ eye color — brown, though occasionally wears colored contacts
୨୧ body type — slim
୨୧ height — 5’7”
୨୧ piercings — n/a
୨୧ tattoos — n/a
୨୧ makeup — basic makeup
୨୧ glasses — n/a
୨୧ scars — multiple faded bruises along arms and legs from previous physical assault. however, these are hardly noticeable unless you really look, and liz usually conceals them with foundation. also has a few lines of whitened scars along the thighs and wrists from previous self harm.
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personality ୨୧


୨୧ mbti type — infp (introverted, intuituve, feeling, prospecting)
୨୧ likes — cats, books, sewing, dreams
୨୧ dislikes — herself, loud sounds, being yelled at
୨୧ positive traits — sweet, curious, gentle
୨୧ negative traits — timid, meek, anxious
୨୧ hobbies — reading books, taking walks around the hospital, sewing dresses, knitting
୨୧ habits — covering her face, sighing, giggling, blushing, twirling or playing with her hair
୨୧ guilty pleasures — n/a
୨୧ fears — abandonment
୨୧ pet peeves — being called by her birth name

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health ୨୧


୨୧ disorders — schizophrenia, complex post traumatic stress disorder, depression, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder
୨୧ medication — risperidone, lexapro, valium. forceful intake.
୨୧ allergies — n/a
୨୧ sleeping habits — sleeps almost too much
୨୧ energy level — medium
୨୧ memory — poor


relationships ୨୧


୨୧ mother — kim minji ; deceased ; died from suicide
୨୧ father — kim kiwoo ; deceased ; murdered by kim jiwon
୨୧ sisters — n/a
୨୧ brothers — n/a
୨୧ pets — n/a. used to own a white cat named marie.
୨୧ friends — jangmi (@library) taehyun (@0X1) jisung (@punch)
୨୧ love interest — tba
୨୧ enemies — n/a
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identity ୨୧


୨୧ species — human
୨୧ religion — atheistic
୨୧ nationality — korean
୨୧ languages — korean, english, japanese
୨୧ hometown — jeju-do, jeju island
୨୧ studies — n/a
୨୧ job — n/a
୨୧ living space — seoul national university hospital: psychiatric unit


favorites ୨୧


୨୧ animal — cat
୨୧ season — spring
୨୧ weather — sunshine
୨୧ flower — white lilies
୨୧ time of day — bedtime
୨୧ holiday — valentines' day
୨୧ color — pink & white
୨୧ food — hotteok
୨୧ drink — strawberry calpico
୨୧ movie — pride & prejudice
୨୧ show — death note
୨୧ book — girl, interrupted. the bell jar is very close, though.
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this or that? ୨୧


୨୧ hot or cold — cold
୨୧ dress up or dress down — dress up
୨୧ piercings or tattoos — piercings
୨୧ breakfast or dinner — breakfast
୨୧ day or night — day
୨୧ introvert or extrovert — introvert
୨୧ optimist or pessimist — pessimist
୨୧ reckless or cautious — cautious
୨୧ messy or tidy — tidy
୨୧ leader or follower — follower
୨୧ popular or unpopular — unpopular


playlist ୨୧


୨୧ a&w — lana del rey
୨୧ fishtail — lana del rey
୨୧ did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean boulevard — lana del rey
୨୧ cinnamon girl — lana del rey
୨୧ daddy — badflower
tba.


trivia ୨୧


୨୧ liz chose her name from the book pride and prejudice, the first book she ever owned outside of a library.

୨୧ liz hates being called by her birth name, jiwon. she claims to dislike it due to bad memories and a belief it sounds “boyish.” this hatred of the name goes so far to the point where she actively avoids introducing herself as jiwon- only elizabeth. a mark of true trust in someone from her would be disclosing her birth name to that person.

୨୧ liz adores children. she routinely makes visits to the maternity ward at the hospital, and even sews clothes for the newborns. she wants to be a mother one day, but is afraid of passing her disorders onto her children.

୨୧ although she's a favorite patient among hospital staff, there is rumor around the hospital itself that liz didn’t truly murder her father (sidenote: she definitely did) because of her timid, submissive disposition.

୨୧ she sews her own dresses, and usually has to bug a nurse to get her the materials.

୨୧ she doesn’t thrive socially. she hasn’t made many friends during her stay, but tries to be polite to everyone.

୨୧ her favorite poet is sylvia plath. she owns her full collection in book form, and often rereads the bell jar as a form of comfort. she sees herself in the character of esther greenwood and in the author who created her.

୨୧ liz has extreme trauma revolving around men, due to her father's lifetime of abuse, and often appears even more inhibited when speaking with them. she fears a man's rage more than anything, but craves warmth and validation from that same man.

୨୧ liz pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to her father's murder, and thus was involuntarily hospitalized, around a year ago, days before her eighteenth birthday.

୨୧ liz attends group therapy sessions each day at around 2pm, aside from weekends- she thinks of this to be similar to a job. these sessions used to be exclusive to once per week, but an experience being caught attempting to harm herself caused her to be switched to daily meetings.


author’s note ୨୧


୨୧ faceclaim — liz / kim jiwon from ive
୨୧ voiceclaim — liz / kim jiwon from ive