History repeats it's self ( History/Background )


DISCLAIMER;

This disclaimer is a three-parter and this blog is being marker with a PG or at least, cautionary warning, and trigger warnings, even though there is, I feel - enough details, there is NOT anything stated beyond this disclaimer that is heavy or explicit and in depth, however there are still very brief words and terminology, which mentions - abuse, neglect, addiction, mental health issues and mania, reoccurring themes, pyromania, running way and dropping out of education, mental/physical health, eating disorders, cutting contact with family, homelessness and struggling.

There may be some things, I have yet to mention or forgotten to list and such, also.

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Even the words may be enough for certain people, and as some one with, speaking as the admin behind Sebastian, Complex Trauma and Complex PTSD, and moderately debilitating mental health issues, myself - whilst I'm a rather chill person and also numb to it all, and I am not easily triggered, that is NOT always the case for everyone else, as everyone is different and valid, and triggered by different things or to different extents, which should be respected.

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This whole page is a respectful and safe space, despite this sh*t show of a site, so any bullying or disrespect will be reported and blocked without hesitation. I advised taking caution or reading with someone if necessary and needed, to lessen or stop from being triggered. My page (including all blogs and content) and discord are both 18+ and 21+ preferred, as I myself, am an adult and do not want to RP or be associated with minors in any way and my page, content and discord, or anything associated to Sebastian includes mature, explicit and or dark themes, so please be considerate and note this is a warning.


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Sebastian was born October 9th, 1995, via a home birth, luckily with little to no complications. He is the third child, and technically, is also the youngest but also partially, the youngest middle child of four children total, but we'll get to that a little more, in a few moments. He was born in Daegu, South Korea and his astrological sign is Libra.

He rarely talks about his family because he is still running in some ways, from his past, and he hates talking about them, but whenever he does or is asked about them, he never mentions any names, especially when it's about or in reference to his parents name, and if on rare occassion, he ever sees or talks about his older brother - he very rarely says his name (Xavier), he usually calls him Moth or Bennie, which are both nicknames, the stories behind which, he keeps to himself,

When it comes to his siblings, Sebastian is the youngest of three who are biological siblings, and that includes his older brother and sister, who are twins, and about ten minutes apart. His brother is the oldest of the two, and is the only one he still has any contact with or still cares for. However Sebastian hasn't seen him in about 4 and a half years. Sebastian also has a younger brother, and they are half / step siblings, same mum, but both have different dads. So biologically speaking, Sebastian, he is the youngest of three at twenty-seven years and his siblings are both thirty-four, so there is about a seven to eight year age gap between him and his siblings, however he is also technically, the youngest-middle child of four children total, and his younger, half sibling is four years younger than him.

Growing up, he did not have a very good childhood, the cards he was dealt from the start, were not great, and his dad was a very angry, reserved, and often violent and abusive man, and abused Sebastian the most, for reasons still unknown, to the point he often physically beat him, a few times until close to death. He is grateful and luck to still be here and somewhat in ' one piece ' bar some scars as reminders of the life that previously made him. His mother was an alcoholic, with her own demons, she wasn't necessarily a bad mother, but she wasn't a good one either, she cheated on Sebastian's father, and more than one and around much, even when physically present, she was a million miles away, and he, himself spent most of his upbringing with his aunty who he adored, until she passed, and, or, he would be with Xavier.

Sebastian, because of the abuse and neglect he suffered at home, ran away when he was barely even but a teenager, and dropped out of school, much around the same time, spending time on and of the streets for at least the first few years, until nearer his late teens, and immediately doing what he could to find and get work, or earn money, whilst perusing music was something from the age of six that he knew he wanted to do, that was always his dream. He started working in many (often deadend) jobs then when he was, around twenty-three or twenty-four, he got a job at the Orange Lotus, and from then on, somehow - life started to change, for the better, and he worked his arse off and his way up to the position he has come present day. He also at some point, in the midst of all that chaos, found some friends and formed a band. Sebastian, also due to all the trauma he carries from his rough, to say the least, past with his family and more specifically, his father, and then also a relationship he got into, after he ran away from home at fifteen, he now struggles with a weed and nicotine addiction, eating disorder, self harm, and reoccurring depression, he is a manic depressive who suffers with anxiety, he also suffers with quite moderate Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in which he often in turn suffers with nightmares and insomnia from, and usually takes sleeping pills to help and aid him to be able to sleep. He has been in and out of therapy and is a pyromaniac but even so, despite the demons that haunt and plague him, he isn't ashamed of who he is, and even through and with all the struggles he has had and still faces, he's determined to never let those demons and the things he struggles with daily win, consume him or control his future. He is the underdog and wants to win, he wants to laugh in his demons face, middle fingers to the past, and wants to be able to look himself in his reflections eyes and smile proudly. He has a lot of self control and grit but he won't stay down.

Sebastian is also half American. Well, technically speaking, but was pretty much born and raised in Korea his entire life. He visited America very, very briefly as a toddler, but doesn't remember much about it. Bar the abuse, and such, ironically, he only remembers brief snippets of his actual childhood and some of his later years, up until and before present day, such as; receiving his dog, Holly, as gift from his brother and receiving his first keyboard and record player at about six and a half, and spending time baking and stuff, with his aunty.

His father is American-Korean, and his mother is Korean. He can speak fluent English and Korean, and some Japanese, and a tiny bit of Spanish, but wants to become fluent in Japanese, French, Italian, Gaelic and Spanish.




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So for a little about Sebastian as a whole; well he is a complex character. Often people say that he is not what they first expect but he always finds himself somehow a little dumbfounded when people say that to him.

He is rather reserved and quiet, though highly observant. He is not easily offended and has a very sarcastic sense of humour, he is however easily flustered when anyone compliments him, maybe due to the fact that he is quiet the ' lone wolf ' type. He minds his own business and never judges others, though some people do make him roll his eyes, several thousand times a day, however even that being said, he has a low tolerance for ignorance and fools, or for when people act like entitled or toxic arseholes towards others. He's very caring and sensitive, under the surface but he appears very stoic and typically remains collected. He is careful with who he opens up to and how much he openly shares, there is always a time and place. He also has a good work ethic, though probably should rest more than he does, and is very loyal which that alone, paired with his determination and vision - well he has always known who he is and what he wants, and he refuses to give that up for anyone, and it has worked for him, so far.

He currently lives rather simply, in a small studio apartment in Seoul, South Korea, and has no contact with any of his family, bar his older and biological brother. He has three siblings though, and is the youngest of the middle children between himself and his siblings. He has a brother and sister, who are twins, his sister but has big dreams. He works as a junior assistant manager is a café, although technically it's a local café and restaurant, as it's a joint place, known as the Orange Lotus Café and Restaurant. Sebastian does help out in the café, a lot but mainly works in the café section and or at the warehouse, either taking stock checks and deliveries, inventory or fixing things, and so on.

He gets on well with customers and is a multi skilled worker, he is a handy man some may say. His boss and him are somewhat on good terms, though he is never really around and Sebastian pretty much, at this point is practically the owner and boss. However, his boss is... a pretty intense guy, and whilst Sebastian respects his boss and co-workers, and gets on well with the majority of his co-workers, there are three ' idiots ', for lack of a better word or term, who like to make things difficult and far more so, that is necessary, of whom, Sebastian wishes he could smack sideways at times or at very least, and since he is not a violent type of guy and has a lot of self control - fire (he can :dream, of course), but all in all, he loves his job, despite his actual dream is to be a rockstar and or in the music scene, in some form or another. He is not much of one for focus and limelight on him, but he wants to help other people, perhaps in some ways he is a bit of a " cliché " but even so, he knows he will never truly fit in nor be just " another stereotype." He is sure of that much.

He is in a band called Bulletproof, which he actually thinks is rather a.. kinda lame band name. Once seven, these days down to five members, including him. Whilst he gets on well with and is somewhat close to his band members, they too, are in many ways for like co-workers or a ' works family - of sorts. Always got each others back and click well, but outside of work, or in this case, band practice and playing local gigs together, they don't really socialise and are all just a little.. too different, just really... living separate lives.

Sebastian is not so sure music or the band is really in it anymore or that they share the same dream, he's always positively sure that it's just him so has a side project in the works and is planning to go solo. From which, he also recently managed to finally release a music video from, that took him around the last two years or so, to work on. And to his pleasant surprise, gained rather positive feedback, more than he was expecting too, since he was really nervous.

He never wants to drag the others down, especially if it's not where they're at anymore, but he has a vision and a dream, and he does not want them dragging him down or holding him back either, and though sometimes it leaves him with a heavy heart, he is a runner and keeps running, he's been running from his past since he was just fifteen, and now at twenty-seven years of age, he knows deep down, flying solo is the right decision for him, and he did not make that decision nor come to any conclusions over night. He plans on giving it another few months then plans on quitting his band, ' Bulletproof ' and go spread his wings as AgustD, an alias that relates to his hometown and the creation, for better or worse, of all that he is and that built him into the man he is today, at present.




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When Sebastian looks to the future, like any or at least, most, sane individuals, he's anxious and has worries, doubts, et cetera but is biggest hope is that despite his past and present, or any future challenges life may throw his way, he hopes that when all is said and done or it's time to close each chapter of the book that is his life, that he has no regrets and that he never loses his passion for music.

Music is everything to him, next to his dog and kitten, and next to the contact with his 1/3 siblings, which he is highly grateful for to date, it's pretty much all he has. If Sebastian makes it to the big time as a rockstar, whether with his band or solo, he never wants to lose himself or his mind, like the " stereotypical rockstar ", and he never wants to lose the joy and love that he gets from, and has for music.

He just wants to be loved, happy and have his work, and his determination pay off, no matter how things turn out, and if he can succeed with such and not end up some washed up, has been then he will be content and happy with that, that will be enough.



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3 | Nov 23rd 2022 19:04
INFIRES
INFIRES PS: apologies for any typos, even after proof reading this several times.
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