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⠀ ⠀ " everything radiated one thing ..
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀FADE-IN:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ACT-IV, PART-I, SCENE-III:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀AN EXPOSITORY BLOG —— A PLACE FOR THE CURIOUS TO RESIDE.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› ⠀⠀LAST UPDATED, MAY 20, 2022, UNKNOWN TIME.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, obsessive compulsive disorder. diagnosed, at twenty-four. a condition that causes someone to be caught in a cycle of
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀obsessions [distressing thoughts & feelings] & compulsions [a way of acting out those thoughts & feelings].
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: in sofia's case, her obsessions tend to be hyper-analyzing the well-being of her loved ones, perfectionism [especially
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀regarding herself and her physical property such as: her home], fixating on her speech to not hurt or offend others, and
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀cleanliness. the main vice sofia uses whenever she is feeling distressed or out of control is cleaning, writing and the repetition of
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀certain words or phrases. in extreme cases, if sofy feels her mind is still troubling her -- she will "make" a mess to clean it up;
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀often she'll break things that hold little to no value to her, re-washing clothes, redecorating for hours.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: see 'therapy' below.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, insomnia, diagnosed at twenty. a sleep disorder in which someone has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀an underlining mental illnesses [such as anxiety.]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: during sofy's times of restlessness, she usually has trouble with focusing, her short-term memory, her anxiety, slow
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀motor functions, & imbalances in her mood.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: sofy usually has a routine that she goes through to keep a constant sleep schedule. as of late, she fell off of it &
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀regularly stays up for days at a time before crashing.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, social anxiety. diagnosed at fifteen. a condition in which every day social interactions causes someone anxiety, self-
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀consciousness, & the irrational fear of being judged, humiliated or offending someone to the point at which the person who has
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀it feels it is out of their control.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: when sofy is involved in certain social interactions such as meeting someone for the first time, dates, eating around
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀others, being around or in a large crowd, being around strangers going to the store / work / etc. she experiences the following
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀symptoms; severe face-flushing, sweating, trembling, nauseousness, making as little eye contact as possible, being softly-spoken,
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀distancing herself from others, etc.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: sofia treats her anxiety by taking xanax regularly & not partaking in activities that would spark up a potential
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀anxiety attack. also see 'therapy' below.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀triggering-topics: sex [in general and sexual assault], drugs [narcotics], loud noises, aggressive cursing, being apart of or seeing
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀large crowds / gatherings.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀stability: stable. has been stable for a long time, tendency to have an off—day here and there but nothing to be concerned about.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀therapy: psychotherapy every other saturday between noon and one pm. via zoom or in—person appointment dependent on her
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀work schedule. has received additional therapy in the past for trauma regarding her upbringing and damaged relationships but no
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀longer thinks therapy will aid her in her healing process.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› suggested-coping-mechanisms: journalism, aromatherapy, and partaking in a multitude of different hobbies.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀medications: xanax [0.25mg, two times a day].
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀addictions-vises: has kicked most of her habits listed.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› drinking-habits: a social drinker. usually ingests alcohol if masked by another flavor.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› smoking-habits: does not like nicotine at all, has never smoked of nicotine in her life.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› drug-habits: used to be a pothead and recreational xanax user. she no longer gets high on either.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀sense-of-self: (how does she feel about herself, is she self-aware, etc.)
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› worldly-perception: (how does she think others feel about her.)
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀fears: love and commitment. being hurt. being abandoned. small, tight and crowded places.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀innate-beliefs: if enough people believe in something, it will exist [this goes for everything both small and ridiculous]. money is dumb.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀there are completely good people, completely bad people, but most people are both good and bad. everyone leaves sooner or later.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀everyone is capable of change. butterflies are good luck and earthbound angels.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀moral-alignment: dependent on the day; chaotic good or lawful good.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› generalized-temperament: sanguine and phlegamatic.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› character-archetypes: INFJ-T; the advocate. the innocent; embodies sincerity, sympathy, and mortality to their very core.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀average-confidence-level: slightly below average, wants to make changes to her perception of herself.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀general-sense-of-humor: playful, child-like and usually very over-dramatic.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀positive-traits: naturally argumentative, competitive, and protective person, more often than not sofy will not hesitate to protect the
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀people she loves. tenderhearted, open-minded, optimistic, empathetic, and sympathetic to everyone she comes across; but exudes
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀these traits the most when it comes to friends and family. definitely classified in most people's books as the clingy friend that never
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀stops asking 'ARE YOU OKAY???' dependable and resourceful. doesn't quite find herself humorous but can make someone giggle
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀every once in a while. enthusiastic, hyper and 'smiley' nearly 24/7. mostly a stereotypical 'good girl'. very intelligent and methodical,
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀her emotional and situational intelligence trumps everything else. an avid conversationalist once she's comfortable. absolute hopeless
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀romantic. loyal & genuine.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› most-prevalent-trait: her loyalty. a golden thread sown into almost all of her interpersonal relationships.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀negative-traits: being extremely moody. stonewalling her own emotions and thoughts in hopes of not being rejected or abandoned
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀based on her own ideals and ideologies. easily-influenced by others, especially people she deems "stronger" than herself. has a small
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀tendency to manipulate others into getting what she wants. a raging perfectionist with enough self-criticism to feed a village. comes
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀off as immature or 'bratty' to most. unintentionally gives off an entitled 'vibe.' becomes VERY dependent on others when allowed; both
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀emotionally and mentally. too dramatic and erratic for the faint-hearted. has an overwhelming fixation with being good and wanting
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀to be perceived as good. romanticizing people, feelings, thoughts, etc, to avoid issues that might harm her or someone else. stubborn,
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀immature, & far too trusting.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› most-prevalent-trait: blind loyalty.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀emotional-reactions: [descriptions varying on how developing archetypes]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› happy, never-ending smiles; varying in size and brightness. shaking hands with an inability to stop herself from moving. adjectives
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀venture to more child-like descriptions. sometimes tears or the incapacity to focus if the emotion is overwhelming.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› sad, attempts will be made to push through this emotion at first before walls come caving in and she's distraught. tears, lots of
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀them; varying in longevity and volume. usually, a silent crier, holds back tears not because sadness is frowned upon but because
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ruined makeup is. tries to distract with comfort movies, more often ends up turning the television off and sitting in silence.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› angry, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› anxious, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› fear, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› disgust, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀extras: nothing available at this time.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› nothing available at this time.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀FADE-OUT:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› ⠀⠀WRITTEN-BY ⠀:⠀⠀[ jai, she/her. sapphic. also @hijack ]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀FADE-IN:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ACT-IV, PART-I, SCENE-III:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀AN EXPOSITORY BLOG —— A PLACE FOR THE CURIOUS TO RESIDE.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› ⠀⠀LAST UPDATED, MAY 20, 2022, UNKNOWN TIME.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, obsessive compulsive disorder. diagnosed, at twenty-four. a condition that causes someone to be caught in a cycle of
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀obsessions [distressing thoughts & feelings] & compulsions [a way of acting out those thoughts & feelings].
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: in sofia's case, her obsessions tend to be hyper-analyzing the well-being of her loved ones, perfectionism [especially
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀regarding herself and her physical property such as: her home], fixating on her speech to not hurt or offend others, and
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀cleanliness. the main vice sofia uses whenever she is feeling distressed or out of control is cleaning, writing and the repetition of
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀certain words or phrases. in extreme cases, if sofy feels her mind is still troubling her -- she will "make" a mess to clean it up;
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀often she'll break things that hold little to no value to her, re-washing clothes, redecorating for hours.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: see 'therapy' below.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, insomnia, diagnosed at twenty. a sleep disorder in which someone has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep due to
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀an underlining mental illnesses [such as anxiety.]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: during sofy's times of restlessness, she usually has trouble with focusing, her short-term memory, her anxiety, slow
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀motor functions, & imbalances in her mood.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: sofy usually has a routine that she goes through to keep a constant sleep schedule. as of late, she fell off of it &
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀regularly stays up for days at a time before crashing.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀diagnosis, social anxiety. diagnosed at fifteen. a condition in which every day social interactions causes someone anxiety, self-
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀consciousness, & the irrational fear of being judged, humiliated or offending someone to the point at which the person who has
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀it feels it is out of their control.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› behavior: when sofy is involved in certain social interactions such as meeting someone for the first time, dates, eating around
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀others, being around or in a large crowd, being around strangers going to the store / work / etc. she experiences the following
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀symptoms; severe face-flushing, sweating, trembling, nauseousness, making as little eye contact as possible, being softly-spoken,
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀distancing herself from others, etc.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› treatment: sofia treats her anxiety by taking xanax regularly & not partaking in activities that would spark up a potential
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀anxiety attack. also see 'therapy' below.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀triggering-topics: sex [in general and sexual assault], drugs [narcotics], loud noises, aggressive cursing, being apart of or seeing
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀large crowds / gatherings.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀stability: stable. has been stable for a long time, tendency to have an off—day here and there but nothing to be concerned about.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀therapy: psychotherapy every other saturday between noon and one pm. via zoom or in—person appointment dependent on her
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀work schedule. has received additional therapy in the past for trauma regarding her upbringing and damaged relationships but no
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀longer thinks therapy will aid her in her healing process.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› suggested-coping-mechanisms: journalism, aromatherapy, and partaking in a multitude of different hobbies.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀medications: xanax [0.25mg, two times a day].
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀addictions-vises: has kicked most of her habits listed.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› drinking-habits: a social drinker. usually ingests alcohol if masked by another flavor.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› smoking-habits: does not like nicotine at all, has never smoked of nicotine in her life.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› drug-habits: used to be a pothead and recreational xanax user. she no longer gets high on either.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀sense-of-self: (how does she feel about herself, is she self-aware, etc.)
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› worldly-perception: (how does she think others feel about her.)
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀fears: love and commitment. being hurt. being abandoned. small, tight and crowded places.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀innate-beliefs: if enough people believe in something, it will exist [this goes for everything both small and ridiculous]. money is dumb.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀there are completely good people, completely bad people, but most people are both good and bad. everyone leaves sooner or later.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀everyone is capable of change. butterflies are good luck and earthbound angels.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀moral-alignment: dependent on the day; chaotic good or lawful good.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› generalized-temperament: sanguine and phlegamatic.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› character-archetypes: INFJ-T; the advocate. the innocent; embodies sincerity, sympathy, and mortality to their very core.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀average-confidence-level: slightly below average, wants to make changes to her perception of herself.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀general-sense-of-humor: playful, child-like and usually very over-dramatic.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀positive-traits: naturally argumentative, competitive, and protective person, more often than not sofy will not hesitate to protect the
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀people she loves. tenderhearted, open-minded, optimistic, empathetic, and sympathetic to everyone she comes across; but exudes
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀these traits the most when it comes to friends and family. definitely classified in most people's books as the clingy friend that never
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀stops asking 'ARE YOU OKAY???' dependable and resourceful. doesn't quite find herself humorous but can make someone giggle
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀every once in a while. enthusiastic, hyper and 'smiley' nearly 24/7. mostly a stereotypical 'good girl'. very intelligent and methodical,
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀her emotional and situational intelligence trumps everything else. an avid conversationalist once she's comfortable. absolute hopeless
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀romantic. loyal & genuine.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› most-prevalent-trait: her loyalty. a golden thread sown into almost all of her interpersonal relationships.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀negative-traits: being extremely moody. stonewalling her own emotions and thoughts in hopes of not being rejected or abandoned
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀based on her own ideals and ideologies. easily-influenced by others, especially people she deems "stronger" than herself. has a small
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀tendency to manipulate others into getting what she wants. a raging perfectionist with enough self-criticism to feed a village. comes
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀off as immature or 'bratty' to most. unintentionally gives off an entitled 'vibe.' becomes VERY dependent on others when allowed; both
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀emotionally and mentally. too dramatic and erratic for the faint-hearted. has an overwhelming fixation with being good and wanting
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀to be perceived as good. romanticizing people, feelings, thoughts, etc, to avoid issues that might harm her or someone else. stubborn,
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀immature, & far too trusting.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› most-prevalent-trait: blind loyalty.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀emotional-reactions: [descriptions varying on how developing archetypes]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› happy, never-ending smiles; varying in size and brightness. shaking hands with an inability to stop herself from moving. adjectives
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀venture to more child-like descriptions. sometimes tears or the incapacity to focus if the emotion is overwhelming.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› sad, attempts will be made to push through this emotion at first before walls come caving in and she's distraught. tears, lots of
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀them; varying in longevity and volume. usually, a silent crier, holds back tears not because sadness is frowned upon but because
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ruined makeup is. tries to distract with comfort movies, more often ends up turning the television off and sitting in silence.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› angry, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› anxious, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› fear, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› disgust, to be written.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀extras: nothing available at this time.
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› nothing available at this time.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀FADE-OUT:
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀› ⠀⠀WRITTEN-BY ⠀:⠀⠀[ jai, she/her. sapphic. also @hijack ]
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
0 | Nov 28th 2021 18:01