“ Alright, Ms. Amaya Kido, “ began the therapist, looking at the dark haired female with a smile on her face. “ This is our fourth session today, and I have your files right here. I want you to feel as comfortable as you can, so you’re free to stop the conversation if you feel like it passes any boundaries. Alright? “

Kido nodded mutely.

The blonde therapist cleared her throat, grabbing a clipboard as she pushed up her glasses. “ So, we have a lot to work through. Just so you know, this is an environment where you take things step by step, inch by inch. So, keep in mind that you’re not rushed. Okay? . “

Kido nodded again, quirking a wobbly smile.

The dark haired female was met with a beam from her therapist in return.

” Great! Let’s start. I know this is a sensitive topic, let’s begin the session.. about your past. Tell me about it.“

Kido fidgeted, silent for a few moments. She fluttered her eyes closed, appearing to try and recall her thoughts and feelings. After a moment or two, a huge exhale escaped her as she leaned her back on the couch.

“ Uhh, well.. I guess..my siblings and I, we used to be really close friends. Like, best friends. Way, way back in Middle School, I used to be really close with them, and then..there was highschool. “

“ What happened during that time period, Ms. Amaya? “

“ Everything went really downhill, I guess. “ Kido blew away some of her bangs cascading over her eyes. “ I found out that my dad was doing..pretty messed up stuff with them, and that was right after our mother’s death. And..they started getting really distant.”

She paused. “ Especially since he definitely attempted to try and kill my friends more than one time because of threats he gave towards them. “

“ I see. “ The therapist scribbled something onto her clipboard. “ How did you feel when you found out about it? From what I recall from the earlier sessions we had, you mentioned that you found out all in files of your father’s computer, correct?”

“ Yeah. I did. “ Kido gnawed at the inside of her cheek. “ I felt..terrified. I remember pure horror, and I felt like a piece of dirt who had no control over my life. So..I..well, I.. “

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she silently counted to ten. Her hands were shaking at this rate as she fidgeted a lot more than usual.

“ I went to confront my dad about my siblings-- we ended up having a fight, and then I..toppled down the rooftop with him. “

Her therapist hummed quietly. “ What happened then?”

“ I lived. He died. “ replied Kido bluntly. “ Don’t know how, don’t know why--doctors said that it was a miracle that I was alive. As for my siblings.. “

She grimaced. “I..I guess they became a lot more of a husk than they used to be. They-uh, got some help shortly though. I didn’t know what to do with myself shortly after, so I decided to go off and..get some higher education. Not like there was any other option anyways. “

“ I see..hm, interesting, “ The therapist mused, writing down some more in the clipboard. “ Tell me, how did you feel when your father died as well?”

“... I don’t know if I’m going to sound like a bad person..but.. “ Kido hesitated. “ I felt nothing. “

“ Nothing, “ Her therapist echoed, as if trying to confirm what she said.

“ Yeah. Nothing. The only thing was probably a slight feeling of relief. I didn’t feel sad or anything, just..relief.”

Kido snorted. “ I guess that makes me a pretty bad person, huh? My own father--dying by my own hands after the scuffle-- I should’ve felt something. But I didn’t. “

“ Ms. Kido, that type of reaction isn’t at all what makes you a bad person. “ Her therapist clicked her pen, holding eye contact with Kido.

She was met with an incredulous stare from Kido.

“ Really. It’s actually--on the contrary, natural to feel the way that you felt. Everyone processes trauma and grief differently, so it’s understandable that people won’t always react with guilt or sadness. Some may react with laughter, or like you, relief. “

“ Oh.” Kido sat back, a little dumbfounded. “ So..that was..completely normal. “

“ Yes. It is. “

“ And I’m not a bad person? “

“ No, not at all. “

Kido took the time to process this in her head slowly, sitting back and letting her thoughts wander.

God, there was a lot that she really had to consider, didn’t she?
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1 | Oct 9th 2019 14:22
ThaiSmiles // it's so beautifully written!
FUTURE //aaaaaaaaa thank you!!
ThaiSmiles //of course!