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PanAn's Blog

Imperial Concubine.

Before PanAn was dismissed from the nursery, Ryuke came to him to read the edict of the Emperor concerning him.
He knelt to receive the news, expecting it to be a live or die response or what punishment he will have to go through to redeem himself from what he dared to do.
Beyond any possible expectation, the edict was only about his promotion to the rank of Imperial Concubine. Not even just Jieju, straight to the next step.
He should have taken the news with the greatest possible joy, instead he was only more terrified and worried.
What kind of plot did I end up into? What are the planning for me? - he thought, wondering whose idea was that. Consort Evil having something bad in mind for him? Or the Emperor, whom, at this point, he sees as a cruel villain too.

Not much he can say or do. Ryuke escorts him to the residence he was given as Imperial Concubine which is rather gracious and luxury.
He is left inside, after being introduced his servants. He is still not in the mood to enjoy and be cheerful, not even about the beautiful residence.
It's late evening when all this happens. The dinner was awaiting him, but he doesn't feel hungry. He goes straight to the bedroom, after dismissing the servants, pulls down the blanket and goes to sleep on the floor, again. He doesn't even know why, but the very thought of getting on the bed makes him kinda sick.

He is very thoughtful. He imagines that the whole harem has already received the news of his absurd promotion. How will they take it? He himself doesn't think it's fair that he for promoted to Concubine like this. But it's not that he had a choice on that. He hopes ZiFu won't get some wrong idea of him, like that he lied and tricked about his night with the Emperor.
And then there is the thought that if he promoted to this high position, Jeonha must plan to meet him often...
And then there is the fear that people will really want him dead more than anyone else now, so he has basically just been made a target...

There is only one thing he is overlooking: how Bang-sul will take it. They have made him the good guy, the 'protector' of the balance and of the innocent people of the harem, but when ever has he really been that?

The hours pass, it's gets late night. Outside it is raining madly, a proper storm even a little scary, with thunder and lightnings.
He doesn't manage to sleep, he is covered from head to toe, trying to clear his mind from his worries and to have some rest. He doesn't think the next will be an easy day for him.
Suddenly, he hears a noise from the other room of the residence. He opens his eyes and holds his breathe.
It must be some servant... they didn't leave yet, it must be so - he thinks, trying to keep calm.
The room is not entirely dark, but he doesn't dare to stick his nose out of the blanket now, as if it was his shield.
Everything turns quite again for some time, until he hears the blood-freezing creaking of the of his room. His heart starts to beat like crazy and he just shuts his eyes again.
He can only hear drops falling on the floor and on the blanket, soon enough. Tiny drops.
"Get up."
He opens his eyes wide as soon as he hears that familiar voice. He uncovers his head and sits up, looking up at the man standing so close to him. "Y-your Grace...!" he gasps in surprise, almost wondering if he is real or a product of his unstable mind.
Bang-sul is dressed in black and wearing a dark straw hat on his head. He is soaked with water, dripping all around him.
PanAn stands up as fast as he can and, before the other could say anything, he hugs him right. Just like that. Getting all wet as well.
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1 | 36 Comments | Apr 15th 2019 06:25

That... escalated quickly.

So, let's say that Consort Virtues indeed mentioned him and ZiFu to LianBi.
The next day from their visit to Haru, Ryuke comes to warn PanAn that the Emperor summoned him to wait on him for that night.
The news left him rather baffled. He should be happy he is finally noticed by the Emperor, but he is scared and hesitant about it. He even tries to ask Ryuke to beg LianBi to postpone of a day, but naturally that's nothing the Sangseon is willing to do. Rather, he just reassures PanAn and tells him he will come back later to take him to the Damiwon.

The procedure is the same as it was for all the other Cairen. A few hours in the Damiwon and then to the Sun Quarters to meet the Emperor. The only difference is that this time there is no Bang-sul to participate.
Ryuke leaves him to LianBi's residence and is dismissed for the night.

~ At 3:30 am, PanAn is seen running into the harem by the guards, all naked and bare feet, just covering his manhood with hand.
He got really terrified. LianBi was in a dreadful mood, he was rough and harsh with him, thus it only felt like a tremendous agony for poor PanAn. As soon as the Emperor fell asleep, the cairen slipped down from the bed and decided to run away, fearing he would wake up if he stopped to dress up.
Returned to the dormitories, that are only inhabited by him right now, he grants himself a couple of moments to calm down, then goes to take a bath and wears his night clothes.

The only thing giving him a bit of comfort is to think that now it will pass a long while before being summoned again, as he has this flawed convinction that the Emperor will follow always the same order of summoning, thus he will be the last of the second round. He is very silly to think that way.
He lies down and curls up on the floor, near the wall at the end of the room, covered by the beds. For some reason, it doesn't feel good to lie in bed, to him, at the current state of things.
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0 | 47 Comments | Apr 13th 2019 10:27

Chapter 1: the Black Swan.

*Illustrations are included in the papers*
It was running the 5th year of Kun Dynasty, Year of the Dragon, during a Spring late and slow to come.

The delicate sunbeams shimmered over the pale, porcelain skin of the beautiful maiden upon her arrival at the Palace.
A soft breeze harmoniously lifted her hair, darker than the abyss of night, in a twisted dance.
Many among the servants and guards couldn't force their gazes away, as the beauty advanced through the path separating her from what would be her home till the day of her departure from this world.
An ominous fate followed her, yet nobody could foretell until very late times, when the wrongdoings could no longer be undone.

Hei Tianè. The Black Swan *Allegory for a mean witch* had been sold to the court by her family to serve as a mere maid, but her ambitions were her own and nobody could take them away from her.
Although she looked as fragile as a flower, a fierce storm enraged in her heart, that not even the radiant light of a Golden Sun *Allegory for a good ruler* could ever tame.
Like an inersorable tide, her reputation only kept growing, submerging everything standing on her way. Not even the young Emperor could escape and without the material support, Hei Tianè could soon enough dig her spot in the warm arms of the gentle Golden Sun
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1 | 0 Comments | Apr 12th 2019 08:51


Although he eventually made it to become a cairen, he can tell the Emperor has not been enthusiastic about him at all. Even starting from the fact all the other male cairen made it to become Jieju days after the arrival while he is still rank 1 and without having ever had a night with the Emperor.
In truth he doesn't really mind that fact. It was his father to force him to join the harem, after finding out about his homosexuality. PanAn's choose was either turn into a beggar, as his father would disown and kick him out of home, or serve the Emperor.

Not having much to do in the harem, he often goes to the nursery to lean a hand. He knows nothing of medicine, he mainly brings stuff is someone asks. He can't even be considered a nurse or something like that.

When Coco was taken to the Palace, he was brought to the nursery right away, since he didn't look in a good health state and also to check signs of abuse. That were of course found in large amount, but nothing happened within the last 5 months, which matches with the time he was found and rescued by the IA.
PanAn was present when they brought Coco in the nursery and also overheard some of the things the Physicians who visited him said to each others, which immediately triggered sympathy towards that unlucky creature.

~ After Tero's funeral, which he witnessed from afar, not daring to interfere into something he was not explicitly invited to, he notices that after the Emperor, Bang-sul and the people who decide to join them to.the throne room to discuss about the babe leave, Coco remains there, knelt and motionless.
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0 | 0 Comments | Mar 27th 2019 11:47

No choice.

Basic information:
• Nian PanAn.
• 17 years old.
• From Suhyen.
• Only child.
• Son of Imperial Navy third Admiral Nian Kun.
• Mother died during the recent war.
• Privately instructed.
• In a very troubled relationship with the father.

~ It's pretty early in the morning.
~ Members of the court are leaving the Red Hall after the daily reunion.

> Someone reaches the northern gates of the Spring Palace.
"Stop right there, citizen", utters a guard. "Identify yourself and tell what brought you so close to the Imperial Palace."
The boy joins his hands and bows graciously to the guards of the gate. "Shiix Xu. I am Nian PanAn, son of... Admiral Nian."
"And what leads the son of Admiral Yang so far from home?" asks the other guard, apparently knowing his father, hut maybe just from his fame.
"I seek audience from the Emperor... it's... urgent..." he says in a low tone, looking down.
"You can't set a foot in the Palace if you weren't granted a meeting by Jeonha. Return on your steps, contact the Imperial Office and wait for a date."
He shakes his head. They can't understand his situation, nobody can. There is no way he can return home... "Please, I beg of you, allow me to have a meeting with Jeonha today, I can wait any time for him to have a moment for me..."
The guard rolls his eyes. "Are you deaf? I explained you, now leave." The tone turning fed up and threatening.
The boy kneels down, intending to insist regardless he will probably be hit. "Can you bring my plea to Jeonha? I shall wait here for his response..."
And one of the guards indeed punches him on the face. "This is your last chance to leave."
"I can't... I can't leave..." he says while wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth.
"What's going on?" suddenly asks a new voice, totally unknown to PanAn. The boy raises his gaze onto the new man; clearly someone of high rank, considering the way he is dressed.
"This fool refuses to leave, Your Grace. Keeps insisting he has to meet the Emperor right now", promptly reports a guard, although he doesn't seem to like the man much.
He lowers his gaze under the glare of the man. "Please..." he murmurs in a desperate tone.
"His Grace could intercede for him and persuade Jeonha to meet the boy without an appointment", says the high ranked eunuch.
The man remains silent for some time, likely pondering his decision. "Raise", he orders and PanAn stands up from the muddy ground, bowing to him. "Let's go."
The boy's eyes widen at the command and doesn't think twice to follow the man and the eunuch through the gates. "Gamsahamnida... I'm in your debt!"
"Good to know."
Not the answer he expected, but he is not in position to object.

The two lead him to a building that he assumes to be where the throne is. He has never set a foot in any Palace and doesn't know how it works or where the Emperor spends his time, meets people etc.
Reached a thin corridor and approached a door, with a little crowd of servants, the eunuch turns to them. "Wait here. I shall warn Jeonha and bring his response." The eunuch walks away, leaving PanAn and the man alone.
Awkwardness and heavy silence. He is curious about him and why he decided to help, but dares not making questions.
"So... who are you? What do you want?" finally asks the man.
Before he could answer though, the same eunuch who left them appears from.the door in the corridor. "Concubine Yi, Jeonha wants to confer with you."
Concubine Yi? - he repeats in his mind while following the man with his gaze, as he walks through the door and disappears from his sight.

Left alone with the servants of the door, he just waits nervously. He feels just as worried as any person meeting the Emperor, but he is also shaken for what he has to ask and the reason that made it so urgent. It's not a good period for him.
The wait is not too long, just a couple of minutes later, a voice from inside utters: "Let the visitor in!".
The servants promptly open the door and motion PanAn to walk in. He just grants himself a moment to take a breath and gets inside. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't look the best. Hair is messy, his robe got dirty of mud as he knelt and there is that wound on his mouth...
He kneels as quickly as possible, trying to hide the mess. "Shiix Xu, Jeonha, gamsahamnida for granting me audience..." Nobody has instructed him on what he exactly has to do to be respectful towards the Emperor, so he doesn't prostrate himself.
He hardly sends a glance to the man sat on the throne, finding him just as scary as he would expect. Except the weird thing that Concubine Yi is sitting on his lap.
"So... Who are you and what brings you here with such urgency?" asks LianBi.
"I'm Nian PanAn, s-"
"Son of Admiral Nian?"
"Ye, Jeonha... as for the reason... I have come with a plea." And there he finally prostrates himself. "To admit me to the Imperial Harem..." he says in such a low tone. He shuts his eyes.
The Emperor sighs. "The selections are closed. You will be able to candidate yourself when they will be open again."
"Please Jeonha... make me an exception, I bed of you..."
"Aniyo. I am certain you will find a way to fill the waiting time, meanwhile. If there is nothing else..."
"Please... don't discard me Jeonha, I swear I will serve you well..."
LianBi hits the short table with his hand. "I gave my answer. You are dismissed."
The eunuch grabs him and basically drags him.out or the throne room, then the Palace, leaving him in the same spot as where they met.

Left without options, PanAn is forced to move to Taifuan. ~
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0 | 37 Comments | Mar 15th 2019 08:44