This is not a heroic death. No, really.

Everything was so loud, so bright, and then it wasn’t. There was an odd pressure around her chest, but she could not quite place it. If only she could fall back asleep, but the muffled voices nearby wouldn’t let her drift off again.

“..Right. And again I am telling you, no one is assigned to this one because it’s not on the list.”

- “Well if it’s not on your list and it definitely is not on mine, that I’ve combed through thrice already, then there’s one death too many and that does not happen.”

“Right. Except that it sometimes does.”

- “What!? This wasn’t in my orientation! What do we do??”

“Relax. You’re fresh out of basic and you did fine with the shooter. Our predicament is, regrettably, quite rare, and it has already become a commitment.”

- “What do you mean “a commitment”? What IS this?!”

“Very loosely put, an anomaly.”

- “A- Wait, what?! Is it not the whole point of the universe that there are no mistakes? Not really, anyway.”

“Says who?”

- “OBSERVATION???”

“…Right! Allow me to circle back to how I know about this at all. Same thing happened to my mentor and when they asked someone up in management, they were told and quote ‘It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.’”

- “You have got to be sh*tting me.”

“Sincerely wish that I was. Unless you mean that literally. But, the advantage of allegedly knowing how the universe works, provides you with the gall to just slap an it’s-meant-to-be-that-way sticker on it all and call it a day.”

As her consciousness was slowly regained to a background noise she could only place as a dialogue from a TV show, she wondered where she was. Was she laying down? Of course, she was waking up, so she had to have been sleeping before. As she tried to pay attention to what was beneath her, there was the feel of shaggy, dirty carpet against her face and hands. A second after, she could smell the earthy filth of it and tried to push herself off the floor. Right at that moment, she felt the weight of her upper body and her muscles as they struggled, but it was strange; she could swear that the weight was not there before.

- “Whoa—“

“Here we go, it’s waking up.”

- “What the hell was that? Is it dangerous?!”

“Tremendously so. The measure of that is determined by its degree of competence and motivation, which are determined by our guidance and ultimately, its resonance. There is also the minor warping that you perceive; a consequence of its nature.”

- “What IS its nature?!”

“Chaos. With a purpose. Ours, I hope.”

It felt like her eyes were open as she listened to the last voice, but something was missing. As soon as that thought occurred, colors snapped into view and were poured into the two shapes that she was facing. Wait. When did she stand up?

- “Ah!”

The shriek belonged to an androgynous teenager wearing torn jeans and a T-shirt that read “I exist without my consent”. They were bald with big orange eyes and dark circles under them that could put a raccoon to shame. Next to them stood a tall person, clad in a loose white sweater and grey yoga pants. He was sporting a man bun and a goatee. She wondered if they just got mugged, which would be unusual, since if the crackheads got to the shoes, it was because they took them off a corpse. Suddenly, she realised she is in the grocery store where she’d been working for the past year. Of course that’s where she was, it was probably that head rush from when she got up from the floor.

Up from the floor… What was she doing on the floor of the store? She looked down to see someone lying there. There was a weird dark blotch on their jacket, and in that instant, there was a painful pang in her chest.

- “Wow.”

“Wondrous, isn't it? It is like baby chaos trying to organize itself. I feel almost paternal.”

- “Ew.”

The person was face down just like she was but a minute ago, or was it longer? Questions kept popping up. Some made sense, some made none and some she felt she knew the answers to, but they were just out of reach. It was as if she was caught in a powerful current, unable to escape its inevitable destination.

Why was she on the floor of the store?

- “It’s looping, I got it.”

“Wha-”

A sharp, loud noise was heard as the teenager smashed their hands in a crisp clap, while the hipster’s eyes widened in equal parts horror and disbelief.

Suddenly, pain ripped through her chest and began pulsating. She looked down only to see blood trickle and when she looked up, the pair was gone and in their stead stood a skinny, twitching man. The colours grew more vivid and confusion was replaced by clarity.

The man was tweaked out of his mind and aiming a gun at her boss, whom she hated with a passion. Since the only ones not using credit cards were the hookers from across the street, it was hilarious to her when he outstretched a plastic garbage bag demanding all the cash.

So, she laughed, startling the high-strung junkie and got herself shot. As a result of him turning around, he promptly got himself shot as well with a blast to the face from the owner’s shotgun.

Well, if that isn’t an absolute sh*t way to die, but also, a completely expected one in the cess pool of thriving criminal activity that is Hunts Point. As she was waiting to lose consciousness and see what was on the other side, the familiar voices came back.

“Is this what they teach in orientation these days?!”

- “What?”

“You’ve just interrupted it!”

- “No I didn’t. It was stuck, so I got it unstuck. Here, let me-“

“The only thing I will let you do is listen until further notice, thank you.”

As she listened, she realised the pain was gone. Slowly, she stood up and looked down only to see a big dark red stain on her shirt, but oddly, it was not concerning anymore. What was concerning is the fact that the bickering goth and hipster were apparently a part of the afterlife.

- “See?? It’s well and lucid now.”

“Apologies for my colleague, their method was rather abrupt. How are you feeling?”

She gave it some thought and sincerely responded with “Mainly underwhelmed.”

The teen let out a single cackle while the yoga dad gave an approving shrug and nod. “Well, for what it’s worth, the only other option we have, which unfortunately does not cater to your kind, is quite robust with experience – or so we hear.”

“My kind? Wait, am I the f***ing “it” you two were talking about this whole time??”

He appeared to be about to explain that, then she watched him realize he could not. Still, he tried. “Yes, that is because you are more of an event than you are an entity, at least at the moment. So, this is a rather unique occurrence…”

What followed was an intensely confusing monologue that was being pieced together as each word came out, leaving everyone in the space with no idea on what to do but no choice than to figure it out as they went.