håkan koskinen - faust

TRIGGER WARNING!!! this character delves into sensitive topics such as self mutilation, mental instability, psychosis, death, neglect, abuse and murder.

1 - self hood

Full name: håkan akseli koskinen
Alias: faust, veles
Moniker(s): kan, sel

History behind alias: the name faust was inspired by the story of faustian bargain, a tale of a man who was so dissatisfied with his life, that he chose to sell his soul to the devil. this name was given to him as many people believed that his strange behaviors and apparent delusions may have been caused by him following in faust's footsteps. its unsure of how he obtained the name veles. some say its because of his residence in the woods, and veles connection to nature, others insist that it was a name he chose for himself. both are partially correct. it was name he used to call himself when he was younger and experimenting in music, and people who knew him back then had started to call him it again because of the nature connections.

Ethnicity: swede
Race: caucasian
Language(s): swedish, finnish, english
Gender: male
Pronouns: he/him
Sexuality: bisexual
Romantic spectrum: aromantic

POB: falkenberg, sweden
DOB: 21/20/03
Age: 19
Zodiac Sign: libra

Religion/Beliefs: he thinks that he is god ^_^

Occupation/Employment: unemployed dropout loser

2 - personality

antisocial, violent, and completely delusional. his intense paranoia leads him to avoid contact with others whenever possible, resorting to acts of self-harm, shouting, or making threats when forced into interactions. battling with psychosis and vivid hallucinations, he perceives others as terrifying monsters rather than fellow humans.

Self-concept: håkan views himself as a lone survivor in a world overrun by monsters. his reality is a twisted maze of delusions and paranoia, where every person he encounters is a demonic entity out to harm him.

haunted by hallucinations and plagued by violent tendencies, he is a prisoner of his own psychosis. his interactions with others are fraught with terror, his first instinct to repel them at any cost, resorting to self-mutilation, screaming, or threats when cornered. he perceives the world through a lens of terror, where even the most benign encounter is a battle for survival.

Strengths: his mental strengths consist of his honesty, creativity, persistence, and his resourcefulness. physically, he's agile, has a surprisingly high endurance, and is flexible.
Weaknesses: his short temper, impatience, insecurity, sh*t balance, coordination, and poor accuracy.

Drives: he wants to find a place where he can finally feel safe.

Values: håkan values survival above all else, driven by a primal instinct to protect himself from the perceived threats that surround him. he also values justice, though his concept of it is warped by his delusions and paranoia. he believes that his violent actions are justified responses to the perceived injustices inflicted upon him by the monsters he encounters. in his mind, he is the avenger, meting out punishment to those he perceives as threats.

Interests: art
Likes: techno, drawing, writing, comics, mythology, bright lights
Dislikes: chewing sounds, social interaction (he is just like me for real), most animals, going outside, happy people
Hobbies: drawing

Emotional Pattern(s): his default emotional state is one of profound fear and paranoia. he is constantly on edge and distrustful, seeing threats where none exist and interpreting benign interactions as acts of hostility. this pervasive sense of dread colors his perception of the world and fuels his violent tendencies.

Attachment style: håkan exhibits anxious attachment tendencies characterized by a desperate longing for connection and validation, despite his profound distrust of others. his experiences of neglect and emotional abandonment in childhood have left him with deep-seated insecurities and a fear of rejection. as a result, he may vacillate between desperately seeking closeness with others and pushing them away out of fear of being hurt. at the same time, he displays avoidant attachment tendencies, marked by a reluctance to fully trust or depend on others. his traumatic experiences have taught him that relationships are inherently unreliable and dangerous, leading him to erect emotional barriers to protect himself from further harm. he may withdraw from intimate relationships or sabotage them preemptively to avoid vulnerability and potential rejection.

Fears: his struggles with mental illness and hallucinations contribute to a fear of losing control over his thoughts and actions. he fears the unpredictable nature of his own mind, worrying that he will be consumed by his delusions and impulses without the ability to distinguish reality from fantasy. in the same vein, hes afraid of being left alone with his own thoughts, despite how he isolates himself with them.

Habits: isolating himself, self harm, ritualistic or repetitive behavior, escapism, avoidance, hypervigilance

Mannerisms: he bites his nails and the tips of his fingers, cuts, and rips out his hair. when he hears the sound of chewing or encounters something with an annoying voice he shoves whatever he can find into his ears. he taps his fingers when he's getting impatient, and when he's stressed his muscles kind of spazz out.

Four temperaments: melancholic
MBTI: infp-t

3 - physical

General summary: håkan has long, straight blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin that is rough and covered in hardly noticeable acne scars. he has scars from self harm and both of his wrists, legs, and upper arms, and there are surgery scars both on the low of his back and under his ribcage. he is underweight, and his bones are prominent under his skin. he also has a slight limp when he walks and tends to drag his feet.
Skin tone/complexion: håkan's skin tone is pallid and sallow, lacking the healthy flush of vitality that is characteristic of individuals in good physical and mental health. his complexion is rough, dry and uneven due to acne scars and skin picking
Birthmarks: he doesn't have any
Skin conditions: does not have any

Body type: ectomorph
Height: 188cm
Weight: 57kgs
Scars: his arms, chest, thighs and stomach are covered in self harm scars that vary in size and colour. he has acne and picking marks all over his face, and surgery scars all over his stomach chest. he has an almost umbrella shaped scar that leads from the bottom of his rib cage to the collar bone, and a vertical line across his stomach.

Tattoos: he has none
Piercings: he has none

Hair type: straight
Hair color: blonde
Hair style(s): he wears it down

Face shape: diamond
Facial hair: he has none

Grooming: hes a murderer not a minecraft youtuber

General aesthetic: grunge-y? he favors baggier clothing as it allows him better movement, and the majority of the clothing hes accumulated are naturally torn to sh*t and faded from rot, bugs, or his constant crawling and falling on rough ground.

Accessories: he has none.
Makeup: he doesnt wear any

4 - history

HISTORY

Parents: luivana johansson, erik koskinen
håkan's parents are erik koskinen and luivana johansson, a couple who once harbored dreams of a happy and stable family life but whose struggles with addiction ultimately tore their family apart. erik, once a promising musician, fell into a downward spiral of substance abuse, while luivana, a nurse, struggled to cope with the chaos and dysfunction that consumed their home.

Sibling(s): doesn’t have any
Childhood pet: never had one

BIOGRAPHY
he spent the majority of his childhood in foster care, his parents drug abuse being the cause for their loss of custody of håkan. however, in spite of that, he did manage to make the earlier years of his life pretty decent. he had his handful of sh*tty caretakers, but the majority treated him well. it wasn't until his preteen years where he started having problems.

most families were only willing to take young children, and the few that did take older kids were far less tolerant of them. he felt like he was treated more as a pet than he did as a son. soon, he stopped getting them entirely, and he ended up in a group home. the emotional neglect left him very spiteful and depressed, and the new and now very crowded environment didn't help with his mental state at all. the screaming, door slamming and constant fighting between both kids and owners drove him insane, and he was forced to learn how to defend himself. the home was very poorly run, and he quickly became reliant on violence for any kind of interaction.

he took out his anger towards his situation out on everyone else. he tried to fight with anyone who did so much as say hi. obviously, this made people kinda not like him a whole lot. he was gossiped about constantly and had a million different rumors spread about him. a slightly older and much larger kid got wind of one of the more heinous allegations, and immediately went to confront håkan. he never gave him the chance to defend himself, and he beat him so badly that he died for a moment. he was hospitalized and brought back, but it was like his mind stayed dead in a way.

he began having hallucinations, and his demeanor changed entirely. before, he was able to stand his ground and confront people. now, he began to isolate himself, and he seemed terrified of interacting with anyone. his psychiatrist explained it as a response to the trauma of getting f***ing battered. when he explained the things he was seeing, it was blamed on new medications and concussion. he only spiraled from here.

he began to show suicidal tendencies. he would insist to anyone who spoke to him that he was dead, and fighting was replaced by cutting. any sort of confrontation was met with him screaming about how he was going to haunt his attacker, and would even escalate to himself harming in front of them often. he was in a new psychward every month, until he was placed back in a group home with significantly higher security. it was one that specialized in housing children with mental disorders and violent outbursts.

when he was 16, his violent tendencies seemed to come back, worse than they ever had been. his personality seemed to change once more, and it felt like he was going back to how he used to be. his caretakers were both afraid and pleased by this, as they were hopeful that this meant he was healing. but they couldn't have been more wrong.

his delusions had changed from suicidal to down right homicidal. rather than being dead, he was convinced that he was haunted by death, whatever the f*** that meant, and the only way to save himself was to end someone else. he tried to stab another patient in the neck with a spork. didn't work, obviously, and he ended up back in another hospital. his stay this time was much longer, nearing 3 months before he was finally released. instead of going back the the group home, he was going back with his parents. after going around 10 years with hardly ever seeing them. doctors were hesitant about letting him go, but the trial ended in the families favor, and he was finally coming home.

his family tried everything they could to make up for their many years of absence, half in guilt, half in hoping it could somehow fix him. he had only spent a month with his parents before they had to report him as missing.

hallucinations had gotten worse. before it was only seeing shadows and hearing whispers but now it was like everyone around him was a f***ing monster. his parents were deformed and disgusting, f***ing demonic, didnt even slightly resemble human beings. he spent every day in that house terrified. he slept with a kitchen knife under his pillow in fear that they would attack him. once he was given the opportunity to flee, he took it and never looked back. as months passed, it grew more extreme, and soon enough, it was everyone. there wasn't a single human being left in the world to håkan. he believed that a portal to hell had opened that he was the sole survivor of it all.

he hid out in the woods, terrified and desperate to survive. he found a gun in an abandoned shack, and stole the ammo for it from the monsters that tried attacking him (concerned strangers and police that are looking for him ^_^).


5 - headcannon

musical talent: he has natural musical talent. in his younger years, before his mental health deteriorated, he experimented with creating electronic music, finding peace in the rhythms and melodies he could craft. even now, amidst his paranoia and hallucinations, music remains a fleeting source of solace, occasionally sparking memories of happier times.

connection to nature: in the depths of the forest, surrounded by towering trees and the sounds of wildlife, he feels a sense of peace. he often retreats to these secluded areas to escape the perceived threats of the outside world, if only temporarily.

art: through his drawings, he channels his emotions and experiences, creating intricate and often disturbing artwork that serves as a visual representation of his fractured psyche. his drawings are both a form of self-expression and a means of processing the chaos of his mind.

internal conflicts: beneath his outward facade of aggression and paranoia, he grapples with a profound sense of internal conflict. despite his desire for safety and survival, he is haunted by guilt and self-loathing for the harm he has caused others. his violent actions are driven by a primal instinct for self-preservation, yet he is tormented by the knowledge that he is capable of inflicting pain on those around him.

redemption: deep down, buried beneath, håkan does harbor a flicker of hope for redemption. despite his belief that he is beyond saving, there is a part of him that longs for forgiveness and a chance to rebuild his shattered life. however, he fears that his past actions have irreparably damaged his soul, leaving him forever trapped in a cycle of violence and self loathing.

6 - miscellaneous

Killing method: he doesn't have any specific methods or tactics, people are too versatile for him to develop a pattern. he just swings until one of them stops moving, and hopes it isnt him.

Weapon: whatever he can get. he prefers a gun but he finds coming across ammo is incredibly difficult, so he is usually forced to use sticks, glass, and his hands.

Inventory: Expired medication, a rusty switchblade

here is the link to the google doc i made for him, it includes his face claim as well as his medical and criminal history
docs.google.com/document/d/1MWD0WA0yzTmaUH_1sI---Kk7oeDpZ2FAtMriJJHnHjM/edit?usp=sharing