okay. thank you. ^^ hm, i’d like the experience..? people around my age work. i think it’d nice – to have a routine. to have things to do. i could work at.. a café.. or something? .. i’m sorry for not giving you any signs…
i’ll make sure to vocalize when those feelings arise, then, hyung. don’t worry. i’ll let you know. mhm.. it was very nice. i had nice dreams for once.
.. well, i understand where your worries come from. but i doubt it’ll happen. truly.
just… empty. and cruel, i suppose. i’ve hurt people, that i remember. i know there’s good in me, but it’s hard to balance things. i’m boring too. we’ll be okay.
but i can’t be without you. i don’t have anyone else, jeongguk. you’ve treated me like a lover, and i did the same in return… i don’t have anyone – or see myself searching for someone else – that could compete with you in any way.
.. thank you. i’m trying. hm… it’s okay with me. if you… ever feel like unpeeling me, you won’t like it either. i’m rather rotten inside. and that’s only counting the things i remember doing.
.. hm, it’d be nice to walk around. with chaewon, mainly. there are things we’d like to do for ourselves for once – getting a job sounds fun, even if it might be a little scary at first. i’d like to meet jiwoo, because she’s the only other person i talk to. but that’s it.
i understand. and… i’m sorry, but i won’t make it easy. it’d be cruel, and i’d get upset at you. that, i’m sure. oh, i’ve felt things before… but it’s not as intense as you, that’s what i meant. towards you, i guess… when we kissed recently, i felt something. or when we danced. but i didn’t feel like it was important enough to vocalize.
i apologize for the confusion and.. for making you feel rejected. i'm not good... at communicating and truly expressing how i feel. and i'm trying my best here - with you. you're not the worst person. i've been with them, jeongguk...
i understand you must have your reasons... and i hope to hear them soon- well... hm. is that what you'd like from me? to get what you want and move on to the next pretty thing? i'm not sure i want it. besides, i'm not the type to feel physical desires like that anyway.
.. i guess there's no true way of knowing. but i hope you can believe me. i'll be here to reassure you whenever doubt plagues your mind. you know i'm not the type of person to leave - even if things were to end badly between us.
i want to unpeel you like a tangerine, to get closer to your core, and know all of you. i apologize if my words are too much, or not what you wanted to hear, but this is where i stand at the moment. you're precious to me. and i want to proceed carefully - slowly.
